I remember when I first started going to therapy, I told my therapist that I didn’t have a lot of female friends outside of my cousins. Why? Because women are irky. Every time I have a rough day at work, I question how I ended up working on a unit where the nurses and the patients are all women. It amazes me every time.
So, this thought popped into my head again today as I sat in my patient’s room mulling over the two phone calls that I placed for help, the nurse at the desk that I asked a small favor of, and the two nurses who actually ended up helping me. I thought about all of the choices I had made in terms of building work relationships since coming to the labor side of L&D, and I thought about the conversation I had yesterday with my nurse educator.
The conclusion I came to is this: it’s not just a “women” thing; it’s a nurse thing. We as nurses have got to do better at supporting one another regardless of how we feel about each other. It’s the number one reason why I’ve always avoided women. Every decision seems to be based on a feeling and I’m not talking about a gut feeling or women’s intuition. I’m specifically talking about the “I don’t like her so…” feelings.
I had a discussion with a coworker yesterday about why I prefer not to sit at the nurses station. I like to sit at the bedside or I like to sit in my empty room. It was once suggested that I do it to hide and avoid getting another patient – which I’m sure some nurses do. I prefer it because I don’t want to be apart of the gossip, it’s more quiet, and I can focus on my charting. I’m also closer to my patient in the event that something happens.
My unit has a very high volume and turnover rate as far as patient load and all of the nurses stay pretty busy for the most part. It’s really not the kind of unit where you’re meant to fly solo in terms of patient care. For the most part if you are not the one needing the help with a patient, you’re helping another nurse with their patient. And that’s fine. That’s the way it should be.
Teamwork
It becomes an issue when help is given and then the nurse who requested the help is talked about at the nurses station or amongst that group of “experienced” nurses. That’s my pet peeve. That’s what I try to stay away from. That’s what makes me want to stay to myself on a unit where staying to yourself is unsafe. If I’m honest, I’m very particular about who I ask for help from and I happened to have worked a shift today where my options were slim to none. And personally, I don’t think you should ever feel like that as a nurse. You should never feel like you can’t call on or trust the nurses you work with. You should never feel like a burden when you do need to call for help.
Also, if you are the nurse called in to help someone and you notice that the other nurse is doing something you don’t like or wouldn’t recommend – be an adult and talk about it with THAT nurse. Don’t go back to the nurses station and talk about it with your clique like we’re in grades 7-11. Remember that speaks more volume about who you are as nurse, friend, and woman than it does the other person.