Archives for April 2022

Yesterday was my 30th birthday. Never in a million years did I think I would spend it the way I did. I had always wanted to go away for my 30th. I’ve never been on a plane and my last few attempts had been shut down by the C, so I was desperately looking forward to getting away this time around. Plus – it’s 30. That’s a pretty big deal. Needless to say, I spent my 30th birthday in MD surrounded by the people I love. We had a semi-surprise birthday party for one of my great-aunts this past Saturday and there was a decent amount of family that showed up, so even though that wasn’t for me it was nice to spend that time with everyone that was there. On my actual birthday I did my usual pedicure and nail appointment, spent some time with M, and then went to Muse Paintbar for Paint Your Pet night. I painted my dog you guys and it was beyond stressful 😂, but it’s cute.

Per usual whenever I turn a year older, I spend the first few days reflecting on the past and coming with a plan on how to approach the future. What things do I want to accomplish in my 30th year of life? Where do I want to go? What my biggest goal? What do I want to start this year? What would I like to finally end? The list goes on and on. This year is different though. I’m going to be a mom and that’s literally all I can think about. Everything else that I wanted to do/achieve/complete etc. has gone to the back burner in preparation for my little guy’s arrival. Plus this pregnancy alone has taught me that I can make all the plans I want, but ultimately God’s plan is the one that actually matters.

I’m 24 weeks today, meaning I have about 16 weeks left before I’m due and that is really not a lot of time. I’m officially in that stage of nesting and that is what consumes all of my time and energy at this point. It’s exciting and nerve wrecking at the same time, but I’m still enjoying it. I love the kicks and the hiccups and even the jabs to my bladder that sometimes make me feel like I’m gonna pee myself instantly. It’s the coolest thing. I had this idea of making this post about 30 things I’ve learned in the last 30 years but I think I’ll save that for a different day. I’m going to go enjoy my week off.

Xoxo,

Ash, RN

As of last week, I am officially halfway through my pregnancy. It’s been an interesting and comical journey so far. I think I make my mom and sister laugh on a daily basis between my questions and my experiences. Originally M and I decided that we would wait until our little one was here to find out the gender, but we both gave in. Turns out our little surprise is a BOY 💙. M really wanted a girl and based on the way I have been feeling throughout my pregnancy, I was convinced that he was going to get exactly what he wanted. However, it is a boy and I am beyond thrilled because that’s what I was not-so-secretly hoping for.

Pregnancy so far has been a huge learning curve for me. For as many patients as I’ve cared for in L&D, nothing would have or could have prepared me for this experience. It truly is one of the most individualized experiences ever. I’ve been feeling my little guy move for the past three weeks now which apparently is unusual for a first pregnancy. This little guy is super active though; nothing seems to slow him down. My check ups have all been good so far; he’s healthy and thriving. M finally was able to make it to one of my appointments so he got to see our son up close and personal. It was really funny. Apparently my child has inherited my lack of desire to be the center of attention and chooses each and every time to turn his back to us whenever we need to sono him. He was cooperative for his anatomy scan but it took a lot of coaxing (and belly jiggling) to get the little chunk to participate. All in all, he’s healthy and I could not be more grateful to God.

For someone like me who struggles deeply with anxiety that’s 100% rooted in a lack of control, I can honestly say that being pregnant has been one of the most anxiety provoking situations of my life. I love it; I think it’s amazing to learn each week what my body and baby are doing. But guys let me tell you that if God wanted to me in a situation where I had no choice but to trust in Him – pregnancy is it for me. I have learned in the past 21 weeks that there is literally nothing I can do. Not a moment goes by when I don’t worry about the health of my little guy or wonder if his heart is still beating. I’m so grateful though because it seems as though God always quiets my worries by allowing my little guy to move in a way that I know is him when my anxiety reaches its peak and I’m reassured that my prayers are still heard. Even now as I write this, he is moving all around (probably because we just had a bomb breakfast 😂).

With 19 weeks left to go, I feel like I’m officially in crunch time. I ordered my crib which is probably the biggest purchase I’ve made so far for baby. I buy clothes here and there, but everything else I was told not to buy. I have a really big extended family and we always show up for one another in situations like this and so now I guess it’s my turn. My baby shower date and venue are set; invitations will go out soon. My registry is almost complete. Time is just moving a little too fast. I’ll be sure to keep you guys updated.

Xoxo,

Ash, RN