Archives for June 2022

As of yesterday, I’m officially 32 weeks (which puts me at the beginning of month 8 if you’re like M and need to know that). I have about eight weeks left before I get to meet my little guy and that has me feeling all the emotions. There’s so much to do in these next eight weeks and it’s a little overwhelming. I made the last minute decision to turn my spare room into a nursery. Initially I wasn’t going to but after some careful consideration and deciding to stay put in this house a little bit longer, I figure kiddo deserves his own space. I’ll most likely be sharing some pictures of the transformation because I think it’ll be fun. Hopefully my family actually lets me help get things situated; if you were to ask them I can’t do anything 🙄😂. Like the baby shower, his nursery will be teddy bear themed. I’m pretty excited to see how it all turns out. I’m not very decorative, my mom and I are alike in that aspect, but I’m excited to try to turn his room into something.

I will let you guys know how it all turns out. Until next time friends…

Xoxo,

Ash, RN

Today makes week 31 of pregnancy and my little guy is moving!!! He has been super active in my belly since he was like 17 weeks and it is the coolest thing. I won’t go on record saying that I have enjoyed being pregnant, but I will say that feeling this little guy move is the coolest thing ever I have ever felt in my entire life. M and I are super excited, but I think I’m a bit more expressive with my excitement than he is. Our baby shower is month away and then a little over a month after that it’ll be baby time.

Nervous is an understatement.

I’m starting to feel all the nesting vibes, so my desire to get this house clean is at an all time high. Last weekend my mom was supposed to come help me clean up (aka clean all the places I’m afraid to clean because I’m afraid of bugs and there’s no telling what I may find 😂), but I had the Rona so that didn’t happen. I’ve been feeling much better these last 3 or 4 days so I’m taking full advantage of that today and attempting to clean the most visible places in my house. If I’m honest, my living room hasn’t looked this clean in months thanks to a pitty named Storm. It’s really nice to see a freshly swiffered wood floor. I don’t know if I spelled that right but who cares.

Sunday is Father’s Day and finding a gift for a father-to-be is really hard you guys. I went on google and Amazon; I read all the lists that Buzzfeed and websites like that put out for Father’s Day. You know what I discovered? Those people are kinda stupid. None of the gift ideas I saw were ideal for my father or my child’s father. In what world would someone want a meat subscription?? Do men really want things like that? I really cannot fathom getting my dad something like that knowing that it would just create more work for my mom because my dad is not cooking! I read one list that was specifically for fathers-to-be and I kid you not, one of the ideas was a baby carrier. What the actual heck??? Why in the world would I ever buy that for my kid’s father. That’s not a Father’s Day gift, that’s more like a baby shower gift. Basically I was left to find my own gift and I did; it just came in today and I’m excited. My sister got my brother-in-law the sweetest gift and I can’t wait for him to see it. The highlight of the Father’s Day gift giving was giving our Dad his gift – a new remote control car. It seems like a really small thing, but if you knew my dad you would understand our excitement to give him his gift which he got a whole week early. Needless to say, I think Father’s Day will be a hit in all of our households and I’m excited for that.

My next OB appointment is this Friday and I’m looking forward to that. Some things left on my to do list: schedule out my next few appointments, pick a pediatrician 😬, pack my hospital bag, pack the kiddo’s diaper bag, clean my house, my car is being detailed this week, and we have to set up our crib. So much to do, so little time. I should go get started. ✌🏽 out friends.

Xoxo,

Ash, RN

So, I made the very difficult decision to leave my job. I’ve been doing labor and delivery for almost 4 years now, and I think I’m done. There are many contributing factors to this, but the main reason is the fact that I’m expecting my own kiddo. Up until recently, I’ve prided myself in my ability to compartmentalize a lot of the terrible things we see in nursing – especially in L&D. I must be 100% honest and say that I think my inability to do so lately has more to do with the fact that I’m expecting my own child. I’ve found it to be a lot more difficult to stay objective in certain situations. It’s also a lot harder to handle issues such as fetal demises, especially with the increase that we’ve seen since COVID started.

I took a much needed break from L&D before, but that was mostly due to burnout. I was working on the busiest L& D unit in the state of MD and because I was saving to buy a house, I was working 5-6 days a week. I found myself no longer truly loving what I do. After my break, I decided to take up travel nursing with the intention to travel the country and at least try to experience L&D in different places, hoping that that would rekindle my love for the specialty. But clearly God had other plans. My sister had my nephew whom I fell in love with instantly and I found out I was pregnant, so it only made sense to stay put at my local travel assignment.

Here’s the thing though friends, I get bored very easily. I have learned that about myself over the years. As much as I enjoy working in L&D, I also despise sitting with a labor patient all day long. I’d like to believe that it’s because I came from a very high volume unit where we were cranking out babies like nobody’s business, but I don’t know. I also think I had more opportunity at my home hospital to act and serve in different roles, whereas during my travel assignment I was very limited. I prefer a higher pace with a little bit more action to help me get through the day. There’s also the fact that my travel pay was cut for THIRD time. Although that was not the #1 factor in me choosing to leave, it made the decision a lot easier for me and allowed for me to get out of my contract a lot sooner without hassle.

I have about 10 more weeks until my little guy comes and I’ll be looking for work to do in the meantime. I’ve pretty much decided in my heart that my time in L&D has come to an end for much longer than the 13 week break that I took last year. I recently told a former coworker of mine that IF I decide to return to L&D it would only be to my OG hospital; I can’t really see myself doing it anywhere else. Depending on who you ask, that unit is pure chaos but it’s a chaos that I welcome on a daily. I’ve been on the hunt for other jobs. My intention is to stay within the OB world, but hopefully within a different capacity that doesn’t keep me at the bedside. Of course, my child will be the ultimate determining factor on what kind of job I accept.

I’m incredibly grateful to God that I have the opportunity to enjoy this time off even though I’m technically jobless right now. My last day in L&D was this past Thursday and I have been home everyday since – mostly because some time during my last week of work I contracted C-19. Go figure that after two years of working directly with patients who had it especially during its peak, I would contract it. It has been a rollercoaster weekend of emotions for me. As I stated earlier, part of the reason I left my job was because of the increase in fetal deaths. Not all of them were caused by the virus that we know of, but you can’t help but wonder. So, a lot of thoughts have gone through my head this past weekend. I’ve spent a lot of time doing kick counts and listening to my son’s heartbeat in the midst of feeling like absolute death. I had all the symptoms: fever, chills, muscle aches, headaches, loss of taste and smell, congestion, and a cough. It’s been quite the experience.

My quarantine is officially over and after taking the Paxlovid recommended by the doctors, I feel sooooooooooo much better. I was very hesitant to take that as well seeing as how there’s very little known about its affects on pregnant women, but I was down bad and it was not looking good. I can breathe out of my nose again and all of my other symptoms are essentially gone (except the cough). My kid is thriving and still just as active as ever, so I can’t help but be grateful. I’m going to continue to enjoy this workless week and hopefully I can get back to 100% by the weekend so I can start cleaning this house and officially preparing for baby boy’s arrival. Until next time peeps ✌🏽

Xoxo,

Ash, RN