As Told By Ashley

A look at my life

Archives for November 2022

by

My MDY

So, I took a giant leap of faith a couple of days ago. I can’t begin to tell you how many times I’ve taken a free webinar only to be bombarded with the whole “buy my class” sales pitch. Usually I don’t go for it because I don’t believe that everyone has the gift of teaching (or the calling) that they think they do. However, back in October of last year I made a commitment to myself to get my act together after I took a serious hit to my finances when I left my full time job with no back. Well friends, I did the exact same thing this year and took an even bigger financial hit. I still feel the same way I felt around this time last year; I do not regret my decision. Last year I was suffering from burn out; this year I was dealing with severe anxiety regarding my pregnancy and what I was seeing on the labor and delivery unit I was working on.

If it was not for my family, I would not have a house to live in or food or electricity or gas or anything really. My family came through for me in ways that I can never fully repay them for, but I’m so grateful. In an effort to never let myself get to this point financially again, I decided that I wanted and needed to do something different. I follow a lot of finance peeps on Instagram: @shewolfeofwallstreet, @delyannethemoneycoach, @betterwallet, @female.in.finance, @leothedebtslayer and many more. I honestly don’t remember how I came upon Britt & Laurie-Ann and the Dow Janes; I don’t remember if i follow them on instagram or if I clicked on a link or what but nevertheless, I found them. I took advantage of their Black Friday sale and purchased their Million Dollar Year course. I’m often seeing people say that we have to be willing to invest in ourselves and take the necessary steps to achieve our goals, and so that’s what I did.

Usually I wouldn’t do it because it costs too much, but this time I decided to bite the bullet and do this for myself because I need to learn. I would not consider myself to be financially literate. I know enough to get by, but clearly I don’t know enough to stop myself from living paycheck to paycheck. I’ve always wanted to take the next step and attempt to fix my financial situation, but I just never did. I would always get by, and I was okay with that. After having my son, I realized that I don’t want to just get by. I want to learn to build wealth and leave my son with the knowledge and the skills to do the same thing. I started the course on Black Friday and I have access for the next 52 weeks.

During one portion of the course you are tasked with finding an accountability buddy, and in true introverted fashion – I don’t want to be committed to checking in on someone every day or week. I just don’t want to. But I do enjoy writing and updating this site, so I think I will use this as my accountability. I’ll keep you guys updated on the process and my progress, and who knows – maybe one of you will decide to join MDY too. I’m pretty excited about it. I know that I have a lot to learn, and I know that I’m only going to get out of it what I put into it so I’m looking forward to jumping in there and getting started. I’ll check back in next week.

Xoxo

Ash, RN

by

Newborn no more

My baby boy is no longer a newborn. He’s officially three months old and I’m just as in love with him today as I was the day he was born. These past three months have been the most challenging and faith building months of my life. I’ve learned so much though. Allow me to share:

  • Like I said before, the first month is all about survival. That was the best advice I heard/read and it really changed my way of thinking about everything I was doing to get through the day in the beginning.
  • All of those moms on Instagram & Facebook that you see with the bags and bags of breast milk are not the norm. My sister had to drill that into my mind repeatedly. I make enough milk for my son and when I don’t, we supplement. There’s nothing wrong with that.
  • There’s no such thing as a schedule in the beginning. Baby will start to show patterned behavior, but a schedule is nonexistent. So if you’re like me and you thrive with a set schedule, try not to let baby’s habits (or lack thereof) frustrate you. You will be flustered, but it gets better so try not to get frustrated. Advice that I’m currently walking through right now.
  • The worst advice I was given as a new mom was “sleep when the baby sleeps”. People who continue to give this advice should be quiet. It’s not always easy to do that, especially if you’re a single parent like myself. Definitely sleep when you can, but that won’t always be when the baby is sleeping. I spent a lot of time cleaning and/or giving some undivided attention to my dog while my kiddo was sleeping.
  • Say NO and don’t feel bad about it, ever. I’ve had to learn this and to be honest, I’m still learning. Not everyone can (or should) have access to my son. That means I can say no to FaceTime calls, home visits, offers to babysit, etc. If I don’t want my son around certain family members, that’s my choice and for right now that’s the only choice that matters.
  • For my fellow single parents – set boundaries with your child(ren)’s other parent. This is something that I’m still learning how to do, but it’s super important as the primary parent. You are home base. You and your home are your child’s safe place. Set those boundaries and don’t apologize for them, especially when the other parent is inconsistent in the child’s life.
  • Communicate. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. This was and still is a tough one for me. Bear and I have been so incredibly blessed by our extended family. They’ve done things to help us that many people don’t even know about. If it wasn’t for them I probably would’ve lost my house.
  • It’s okay if you don’t feel that instant connection and overwhelming love for your baby. More people are bringing this issue to light and I just want to reiterate it. I love my son. I loved him the day he was born, but it wasn’t instant. It took a while for me to feel that overwhelming sense of joy that comes with being a new mom. And let’s be honest, that feeling can be easily snuffed out when you’re tired, hungry, and haven’t showered or slept in 24+ hours. Babies take so much more than they give in the beginning and it’s draining. So yeah, you may not have all the feels in the beginning and that’s okay.
  • It does get better. My friend Jennifer said that to me a lot, and she was so right. It doesn’t always get easier, but it does in fact get better. The sleepless nights and frustration are a small price to pay to see your baby happy and healthy. Bear is thriving and it’s such a blessing to see.
  • Figure out what works for you and your family when it comes to the big things like sleep. The AAP does not recommend co-sleeping but for some it’s their only option. Do your own research so that you’re informed and then make a decision based on what you feel is best for you and your baby. We co-sleep sometimes on the nights when my little guy struggles to sleep, but for the most part he’s in his crib.

There’s so much more that I could say, but the truth is that I’m still learning myself. I’m still learning my baby. I’m still trying to figure things out. Being a mom is one of the hardest and most rewarding things I’ve ever done. I love it. It’s stressful, but I love it.