Debt is something I’m still in the thick of. I’m not writing this as someone who’s already debt-free or who has all the answers neatly figured out. I’m writing this as a single mom who is still juggling bills, still working on building better money habits, and still trusting God to guide me through this journey.
For me, debt hasn’t just been about numbers on a page—it’s been about late-night anxiety, wondering how I’m going to cover basic needs for my little family and not bleed my parents dry in the process. It’s been about saying “no” to things I wish I could give my son, or pushing aside dreams because the money wasn’t there. But lately, I’ve been making small shifts—little things that don’t solve everything overnight but help me move one step closer to freedom. And maybe my story can encourage you if you’re on the same path.
Learning Where My Money Goes
The first big wake-up call for me was actually sitting down and looking at where my money was going. I thought I had a pretty good handle on it, but when I tracked everything for a week, I realized how many “small” things were draining me—fast food stops, Amazon checkouts, random Target runs. None of them felt huge in the moment, but together, they were stealing money I needed for bigger priorities. Writing it all out wasn’t fun, but it was necessary.
Scaling Back, Not Cutting Out
As a single mom, I need little joys to keep me going, and I will often sacrifice doing things for myself to ensure that I have the money to take care of my responsibilities. I used to think budgeting meant cutting everything out, and that only left me frustrated and more likely to give up. Instead, I’m working on scaling back. Instead of five takeout meals a week, I might grab just two or three. Instead of buying full price, I hunt for sales. Those small decisions add up, and I don’t feel like I’m punishing myself in the process.
Putting Things on Autopilot
Between work, school for myself and my son, and just trying to keep our home running, bills sometimes slip my mind. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve racked up late fees simply because I forgot the due date. Automating minimum payments has been a game-changer for me. It doesn’t erase the debt, but it helps me plan for the payment, protect my credit, and avoid extra charges.
Finding New Streams of Income
Cutting back was one thing, but I realized I couldn’t save my way out of debt. I needed more income. That’s why I started Shine Boss Co., my candle business. It began as a creative outlet but is growing into something that gives me hope. Every time I make a new candle, I feel like I’m building not just a business, but a brighter future for me and my son. It’s not replacing my income yet, but it’s one of the ways I’m trying to take back control.
Leaning Into Community and Learning
One thing I’ve realized is I don’t have to figure this all out alone. There are so many amazing voices teaching about money in ways that feel real and relatable. Some of my favorites are:
- Rich and Regular – a husband-and-wife team breaking down money topics with honesty and humor.
- Financial Feminist – Tori Dunlap’s podcast and resources have given me the motivation to think bigger about my finances.
- She Wolfe of Wall Street – her content makes investing and money management feel accessible, not intimidating.
- Building Bread with Kevin L. Matthews II – his resources have opened my eyes to how wealth-building is possible, even starting from scratch.
- The Budgetnista – Tiffany Aliche is one of the most practical and encouraging voices when it comes to managing money.
- The Broke Black Girl – Dasha Kennedy provides raw, real advice about money, especially for women of color.
- Tai and Talaat McNeely – their platform shows how couples and families can tackle finances together with faith at the center.
- The Frugal Feminista – Kara Stevens helps women of color heal their relationship with money while building wealth.
Tuning into voices like these helps me stay encouraged and reminds me that debt isn’t the end of my story.
Trusting God With My Finances
Most importantly, I’ve been learning to surrender my financial stress to God. That doesn’t mean I stop working or ignore my responsibility—it means I remind myself daily that I’m not walking this road alone and that ultimately God is my main source of provision. Proverbs 3:5-6 says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to Him, and He will make your paths straight.” On the days when I feel overwhelmed by bills and balances, I go back to that verse. My path may not be straight yet, but I believe God is leading me step by step.
Celebrating Small Wins
I still have a long way to go, but I’ve started celebrating small victories: paying off one bill, saying no to an unnecessary purchase, making a candle sale, or even just choosing faith over fear. Those small wins matter because they keep me moving.
If you’re in debt like me—whether you’re a single mom, a college student, or just someone trying to make ends meet—I want you to know you’re not alone. We don’t have to be perfect. We don’t have to fix everything in one day. We just have to take one step at a time, trust God in the process, and believe that freedom is possible.
Love you guys! Xoxo,
Ash, RN