As Told By Ashley

A look at my life

by

Back to square one

I started a new job about a month ago. Instead of spending my day on the psych unit, I spend my day assessing newborn babies and I absolutely love it.

My last day at my old job was bittersweet. Although I didn’t enjoy what I was doing, I was good at it. Going from doing something you’re good at but hate to do something that you love but know absolutely nothing about has by far been one of the most humbling experiences. But I look forward to going to work which is something that I haven’t felt since becoming a nurse.

It’s a completely different scene and requires a completely different part of my personality than being a psych nurse. When I was talking to my patients I could rely not only on biblical teaching but personal experience. Here, I’m relying on textbooks and the knowledge of those around me who know more and have experienced more than me. I love learning from them. I loved learning from my psych nurses. But, this is different.

I find myself seeking new opportunities to increase my knowledge in every aspect of Labor and Delivery nursing – from labor to the newborn to breastfeeding and so on.

We’ll see where this goes…✌🏽

by

Keepsake Box

My god-daughter just celebrated her 9th birthday yesterday and I was really struggling with what to get her as a gift. I knew I didn’t want to give her money and I bought her clothes for Christmas. I don’t have children right now, so I have no idea what they like. I decided to pick the brains of a few of my coworkers that have young children or grandchildren. The best idea I got was a keepsake box. My coworker suggested buying a box and filling it with a few little things that were special to us and instructing her to continue adding to it. I had no idea where I was going to find a box or what I was going to put inside of it. I mentioned the idea to my sister, and of course she suggested: Let’s make one. So we did.

I knew from the beginning that something I wanted to include in the box was a journal. Writing has always been one of my favorite things to do, but journaling is a little different. It’s a place to put your innermost thoughts and feelings that you don’t really want to share with anyone else. Every little girl needs one. We got her a cute little journal from Target along with a set of gel pens because let’s face it, the colorful pens are what make journaling fun.

The whole process, had we sat down and done it straight through, probably would’ve taken 3-4 hours. The inspiration for the box was a cute little journal that I picked up from target. All of the products were purchased from A.C. Moore including the box itself.

Materials:

  • Wooden box
  • Paint (black and gold)
  • Paint brushes
  • Wooden letters
  • Hot glue gun and glue sticks
  • Stencil
  • Gold ribbon

It took us a whole evening to finish this, mainly because we other things going on that day including celebrating my 26th birthday. But here’s the finished product (minus the gold ribbon) and the journal that inspired it:

This my first time ever doing something like this, but it was extremely fun. Lately I’ve been battling with anxiety, and doing this project was incredibly relaxing for me. We didn’t line the inside of the box, but I suggest lining it with felt or some type of fabric of you decide to make one on your own. OR!!! If you’d rather my sister and I make you one, just shoot me an email or leave a comment. 😊

Xoxo,

Ash, RN

by

Chapter 26

Today is my birthday!!!

I am so excited. I’ve been on a little bit of a social media fast, so to everyone who already has or plans to wish me a happy birthday today – thank you.

I always like to take some time before my birthday to reflect on how the past year has been. The year of 25 was a great one, but emotionally charged as well.

25 was the year I graduated nursing school and became a Registered Nurse. 25 was the year I began my career at one of the most prestigious hospitals in the country. 25 was the year I moved out on my own. 25 was the first full year I had without my cousin. 25 was the year that I accepted the fact that it’s okay to be single. 25 was the year I accepted the call pursue relationships God’s way by joining The One University. 25 was also the year I decided to share my life with the world through this blog.

As I sit here on day 1 of year 26 and reflect on my accomplishments and perceived failures of 25, I’m reminded of just how amazing the grace of God truly is. I can’t help but believe that this is first day of one of the best years of my life.

(For the last week I’ve been listening to a sermon series by Pastor Michael Todd called Grace Like a Flood. Click the link to check it out.)

by

When I knew it was time to quit my job

I graduated nursing school in May 2017, got my license in June and starting working at a very prestigious hospital in October. Fast forward to today – I’m currently looking for new jobs. I’ve only held my current position for about 6 months which in the world of healthcare equates to nothing.

I had thoughts of leaving my job plenty of times in the beginning, but I chucked it up to taking on multiple projects at one time. I had just started working in October and was already planning on going back to school to get my bachelor’s degree. I ended up postponing that until the new year. I had moved out of my parents house in December and was living on my own for the first time. The emotional toll of moving out on my own was incredibly overwhelming. I was broke all the time.

Basically I was emotionally, physically, and financially bankrupt. Being a nurse is an awesome career, but if you don’t truly love what you’re doing as a nurse – this field can definitely burn you out quickly. My first month after being off of orientation, I was mandated to stay over for a second 8 hour shift at least seven times. My unit has been understaffed since I started. Not to mention – it’s an inpatient psychiatric unit!!

When did I know it was time to quit my job?

  • When the thought of going to work the next day began to give me so much anxiety that I could not sleep the night before
  • When I realized how much my mood significantly changed once I was actually at work
  • When I actually stood in front of my coworkers and said “I hate this patient”
  • When I found myself being jealous of my friends and their jobs
  • When I accepted the fact that I wasn’t truly happy

I made the decision on my way to work this morning that I was going to take this week and begin applying for new jobs. As much as I don’t want to start all the way over somewhere else, it’s a small price to pay for peace of mind. Being a nurse is stressful; I expect that. But if I’m going to be stressed out from a job, I’d much rather be working in a field that I’m truly passionate about.

And y’all, psych ain’t it.

This morning while I was sitting in my car reading my emails, I noticed that each one had the same overall theme: giving your best in the worst situations. So, I also decided that even though I don’t enjoy being a psychiatric nurse, I will strive to be the best nurse I can be here until I get a new job somewhere else.

I walked onto my unit today prepared for it to be a complete mess. Instead, I got a day of downtime where I was able to do this post, update my resume and apply for some new jobs.

We’ll see how it goes✌🏽

by

On my own

When I first started looking for places to live, I must admit that I did it with a bit of naïveté. I had this image in my head of what living on my own would look like. It was glamorous, complete with upholstered furniture, bar stools, open floor plans, and freshly brewed coffee every morning. I was so very wrong.

I’ve been in my apartment for almost 2 whole months and it doesn’t look much different than the day I moved in. I still have boxes!! 2 months in and I still have boxes with items in them. While moving out was one of the most exciting things I’ve ever done, it’s also been one of the dumbest things I’ve ever done.

I enjoy living on my own, but I hate living on my own. It’s something that most people have a desire to do once they reach a certain age. As I type this, I can hear the voices of all of my family members that told me not to do it.

“Don’t pay bills until you absolutely have to”

“Wait. Just wait”

“Don’t be in such a rush to grow up”

“Paying rent is not fun”

The list goes on and on…

I knew what paying rent would entail. I knew that there would be some stress involved in paying other bills. What no one prepared me for was the intense feelings of loneliness that come with living on your own.

I didn’t want a roommate. I’m not that interested in sharing my space with another human being. The only person I’m willing to do that with is the husband God plans to bless me with one day. So for now, I remain alone. For the most part, it’s been great. It’s quiet. It’s peaceful. Everything is how I left it when I return from wherever I’ve spent my day.

But, there are some moments where the quiet is just too much. It’s deafening. When you live alone, you’re essentially forced to deal with yourself. I was excited about living by myself because I thought this would finally give me the time to read, study, pray, etc in peace. Little did I know that God would use this time to force me to deal with myself. When you have no one to talk to but God, you learn a lot about yourself very quickly.

I guess that’s the main reason I started this blog: to share the things I’m learning.

Update: Since I originally made this post, my parents have been here and cleaned up my apartment. Lol! Out of the goodness of my mother’s heart, she cleaned up everything while I was at work one Saturday. I mean everything! Home girl washed my dishes, washed my clothes, cleaned my bathroom…everything. Thanks mom!!

by

TOSC 18

I just finished watching Day 2 of The Online Singles Conference 2018.

It. Was. Awesome.

The conference is hosted by Married and Young founders Jamal and Natasha Miller. It’s comprised of multiple sessions taught by different singles and couples in ministry. This year’s conference was their third TOSC, but it was my first time attending. The conference is completely online and totally convenient for the person who doesn’t have all day to sit at their computer watching. Fortunately for me, I was able to sit home all day since I finally had some time off from work.

The number one reason why I enjoyed this conference so much is because it catered to every season. Even though the conference targets singles, it’s definitely for married couples as well. Day 1 was completely dedicated to the marriage season. It was helpful in preparing those of us who desire to be married and I believe it was a blessing to those who are already married and may be struggling with that. Apostle Matthew Stevenson and his wife Kamilah did a session on mother/father wounds and how they manifest themselves that absolutely blew my mind. I can’t even pick a session and say it was “my favorite” because I learned something valuable from each one of them.

Pause. Yes I can – the session with Talaat and Tai McNeely was definitely my favorite because it dealt with the topic of money and getting my finances together before marriage has been my top priority lately. But!!! That doesn’t discredit any of the other sessions. Jared Ellis shared a man’s perspective on being single for an extended period of time and it was awesome. I always enjoy hearing from the Lindsay’s. The story of their first year of marriage is definitely worth listening to. Pastor Mike Todd was there! Y’all. It was awesome.

The overall theme of the conference seemed to surround the idea of maximizing your time and potential while in your single season. Every speaker seemed to really push the point of focusing on yourself and really getting that one-on-one time with God while you actually have the time. There’s no better time to get to know God intimately than when you’re single. You have no one to answer to but God. You have no one to compare and align schedules with but God. You can pick up and leave whenever you want. You are free to do what God wants you to do without having to consider another person’s wellbeing in the process. I’m sad to say, that I never thought of my single season that way.

Perspective is everything.

This conference revealed so many things in me and about me that need to be worked out and worked on before marriage. The hosts also lead The One University which is a year long (approximately) program of intentional singleness. I’ve been a member of TOU for a while now and I must admit that I haven’t been taking it seriously. It wasn’t until today that I realized that it truly is an investment into myself and the kind of wife that I hope to be one day.

I’d love to go into more detail about TOU, but I honestly believe that Jamal and Natasha put their whole hearts into this program and if you want to experience it – you should pay for it. I do, every month. It is an investment. It’s helped so many people. I’ve read and watched the TOU success stories and they’re very inspiring. I look forward to updating you guys on my journey.

Peace✌🏽

by

What I’m Reading: Crucial Conversations

I first heard about this book in one of my classes for Nurse Residency. We were asked if we felt comfortable having intense conversations with patients and/or their family. We didn’t get to go in depth about the subject because of time, so I decided that I would find this book and read it on my own time. Luckily, it was assigned as required reading for nursing communications class. I’ll be reading it over the next 8 weeks. Hopefully, I’ll learn some great techniques.

by

Welcome

Welcome to As Told By Ashley!

I’ve been told many times by many different people that I should start a blog. I hesitated for a long time because I wasn’t sure what I would write about. I’m not an expert on anything…yet. I never thought that I had anything worth sharing.

At the beginning of this year, I decided that I would start the blog and have it ready in the event that my life became interesting enough to blog about. So, here it is…