As Told By Ashley

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It’s official

I gave my notice at my OG hospital; I’m officially counting down the days until I’m no longer a staff nurse. I’m hopping on the travel nurse bandwagon, so I’m no longer able to keep up with the competencies and time requirements of my OG unit.

I’m excited, but I’m also really sad. Sending my letter of resignation was actually very difficult for me. I had told my manager when my last day would be, but it took me a couple days to send the actual letter. I was surprised by my own emotions honestly. I didn’t expect to feel sad, but that is truly what I felt.

I think my feelings toward leaving my job are mainly because of the people I’ll be leaving behind. I’ve met some great nurses, some great doctors, and some even greater patients. It’s a place filled with people and rules and protocols that I’ve grown accustomed to. I’m comfortable there, and leaving a place of comfort for the unknown is terrifying. When I first went to per diem status, it was with the mindset of having something to fall back on in case I didn’t like the job I was taking at the time and it’s a good thing I did. I ended up quitting that job after 2 weeks and my OG hospital welcomed me back with open arms and lots of laughs at my attempt to be free.

Making the decision to leave is a big jump for me. I’m a creature of habit. I like comfort and familiarity and knowing what I’m walking in to, even though the only thing I knew I was walking into at my OG hospital was pure craziness. I tell myself often that the job is the same, it’s just the location that is different. It helps that I’ve had a great experience with my first L&D assignment; they made the transition super easy. I’m not sure where my next stop will be on this travel journey, but I know I’ll be going out of state. I’ll most likely stay on the east coast for a while longer before I venture out to some of the other places I’d like to go, but who knows. I’m learning to embrace the idea of going wherever life takes me.

I will definitely keep you guys updated.

Xoxo,

Ash, RN

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Money, honey

In about six months, some weeks, and some days I will be the big 3-0. I’m actually pretty excited about it, but it took me a while to get to this place of excitement. I’m all about making goals and figuring out a way to achieve them and my biggest goal these days has been to get my money right. It’s part of the reason why I opted to do travel nursing.

One of my goals with this blog has been to keep you guys up to date on different things going on with my life – whether that’s in the area of love, education, nursing, or even finances. So today is all about the money honey. As always, I tend to share the things I need the most accountability with so sharing what I learn about money as I go along helps to keep me on the straight and narrow. I’ve read quite a few books on money, affiliate marketing, investing, and so on. None of it stuck apparently because I still struggle. Anyone who knows me knows that I’m a big Dave Ramsey fan. I love his zero dollar budget and his debt snowball method. So, I guess that’s where I’ll start.

Over the course of this year I’ve made some big financial moves and commitments like purchasing my first home. I also took some big financial risks like quitting my full time job at the drop of a dime with no back up. I’ve been without insurance briefly at some point this year. I went from almost hitting the six-figure mark last year in my staff nurse position to barely making anything with my first agency nurse position. Do I regret leaving my job and taking a serious pay cut? Physically, mentally, and emotionally – no, but financially – heck yes.

I dug myself into a pretty deep financial hole in the first half of 2021 and now I’m taking this last quarter of the year to potentially dig myself out. Where am I choosing to start??? Good ole Dave Ramsey and his Total Money Makeover. So I’m in the process of completely Step One: the $1000 emergency fund, and Step Two: the debt snowball simultaneously. Do I follow Mr. Ramsey to the letter – no, but I do find some his suggestions and lessons incredibly helpful. Eventually I’ll get to the point where I’ll start to list and share the resources I use to help. One of my biggest and best resources right now happens to be my cousin Michaela. She’s going to help me figure out this whole budgeting thing. I know I cannot be the only person out there who truly sucks at budgeting or who gets lost looking at their budget because it says they have all this money left over but your bank account screams a completely different story. I have every intention on sharing with you guys what works for me and what doesn’t. Wish me luck 🤞🏽

Xoxo,

Ash, RN

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Life Update

I haven’t made a post in a while. Life has been a little crazy. I started a new job and it’s been a huge adjustment. I recently reconnected with an old friend and that has me a little out of sorts in a good way (definitely will keep you guys updated on that 😉), and unexpected house repairs have a hold on me right now as well. Needless to say, I’ve been very busy in good and bad ways. Soooooo…here it is:

HOME. For those of you who don’t know, I bought a house earlier this year. I had a solid three weeks in my house before everything started going downhill. I had some unexpected plumbing issues that are still unfixed and a huge source of stress in my life right now to be completely honest. The problem is halfway fixed, but in attempting to fix that we discovered an even bigger problem that will need to be addressed sooner rather than later. But you know what guys – plumbing is expensive!!! Other than that, the house is good. I go back and forth with wanting to sell it or wanting to rent it out and I’m pretty sure that stems from the stress I feel over this plumbing situation, but nevertheless I will figure it out. I always do.

WORK. I recently entered the world of travel nursing. Back in June I took a local travel contract at an ASC after deciding that I wanted to try something different from labor and delivery. It was by far the best 13 weeks of my career so far. It was completely unrelated to anything I have done in nursing so far. I started out as a psych nurse then switched to labor and delivery and the ASC was with a urology office. Yep, you read that right – I essentially went from vaginas and babies to penises and kidney stones for 13 weeks and it was great. I met some of the most friendly nurses ever and I will forever be grateful to them for taking me in and teaching me all that I needed to know to get through those 13 weeks. My current assignment is another local travel position back in L&D at a hospital near my house because…

I’m going to be an aunt…like any day now.

FAMILY. That’s right friends – my little sister is having a baby and I am beyond excited. It’s a boy and he is the first grandchild so there is already so much love, joy, and expectation surrounding his arrival. She also got married, so I officially have the dopest brother-in-law in the world and a new dog niece and nephew. My long-haired pitty Storm is a seven month old ball of energy who will definitely keep you laughing. She’s brought so much joy to my house in the midst of my plumbing disaster. At this very moment she’s tearing up a puppy pad in my office – probably because I’m doing this instead of playing with her 🤦🏽‍♀️. Learning to train her and watching her grow is pretty fun though. My parents are doing well. We’re all just waiting semi-patiently on Baby AJ.

There’s so much more to share, but if I did that here this post would go on forever. You’ll just have to subscribe to keep up. 😊😊😊

Xoxo,

Ash, RN

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Be still

A while ago I shared with you guys about my little crisis of faith I’ve been having lately. I was talking with my sister about one of my therapy sessions in which my therapist implied that I’m angry with God. That’s probably the most accurate statement someone could use to describe how I feel. Usually when one admits ill-feelings towards God, it’s met with push back in the form of statements like “what could you possibly have to be angry about” or “you can’t be mad at God for decisions you made”. Statements like these run through my head constantly. I remember telling my sister that it’s more frustration than true anger. Frustration at the fact that my life did not turn out anything near what I thought it would. I thought I did everything right. I got good grades, I didn’t sleep around, and I worked really hard. So imagine what it’s like to wake up 10 years later and feel as though you have nothing to show for all of that hard work. Of course I’m angry. There’s so many things I would have done differently.

Now here I am in one of the most confusing times of my life. I’m at a point where everything I thought I knew and wanted to be is no longer right. I no longer know if I want to spend the rest of my life as a nurse. I remember when I wanted to open my own midwifery clinic servicing the women in the black community and now I just don’t know. I remember when I used to be so sure of my faith and belief – and now I just don’t know. Not because I’m “angry”, but because it’s hard to continue to have faith in something after so much disappointment. And please don’t point me to Job saints, I know the story. But I also know that I’m not the only one who has these thoughts and feelings. I’m just the only one wiling to admit them out loud right now.

Since I quit my job, I’ve had crazy amounts of time off. I’ve never had this much time off in my life. I don’t even know what to do with all of this time off. I’m usually hone most days because I know where nothing is in my new city or I’m visiting my sister and parents in the safety and comfort of the places I’ve always known. If it’s one thing this time off has shown me is that I have no idea how to just be still. I’ve been on the go since I started working at 14 and this is the first time since then that I haven’t had two things occupying my time at once. It’s a time I’m learning to be grateful for. It’s a time I’m constantly learning how to navigate every single day when I wake up in the morning. For the first time in my life, I get to wake up and decide what I want my day to look like and that’s actually something I prayed to God that I would be able to do (*definitely did not remember that prayer until I typed that sentence*). For now, I’ll just keep doing what I’m doing until I come up with my own routine.

Xoxo,

Ash, RN

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Happy Thanksgiving

I hope everyone is having a safe and socially distanced holiday. I also hope that amid a holiday that’s unlike anything we’ve ever experienced before that we are taking the time to think about all that we have to grateful for.

My family was never that family that went around the table and said one thing we were thankful for. Thanksgiving dinners usually consisted of about 50-80 people packed into my grandma’s house (depending on if that Cowboys were playing the Washington Football Team 😒). This year things will definitely look a little different, and I’m still grateful. I’ll be working on Thanksgiving, but I get to go to work knowing that my family is alive and well. A lot of people can’t/won’t be able to say that this year.

I think that every person who sits around your socially distanced Thanksgiving table is something to be grateful for. And for those of you like me who won’t get to sit around a Thanksgiving table because of work or because you don’t want to put other family members at risk, still, be grateful. You’re alive – it’s just that simple.

Love you all. XOXO,

Ash, RN

P.S. – there’s always next year 😉

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Today is the first day of the last 6 months of 2020. I don’t know about you guys but these first six months have been a rollercoaster. I took some time off from writing in an effort to process all that’s been happening in the world. Reading all of the posts and stories regarding BLM, police brutality, racial tensions, Trump, and the deaths of too many unarmed POC was becoming the norm. I honestly didn’t want to add fuel to the fire.

I know that I want my last six months of 2020 to better than my first six months, and I’m determined to finish this year stronger than I started. I hope you all feel the same. That’s all I really have to say today. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Oh… and arrest the cops who killed Breonna Taylor ✌🏽

Xoxo,

Ash, RN

https://astoldbyashley.com/2020/07/01/139/

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Our new normal: Update

Well…

My parents are still quarantined and I think they’re handling it pretty well. As of this past Monday, everyone in my household has been tested (in some way) for COVID-19. I got my results back Thursday and it was negative. Yay me! I’ll have to get an antibody test at some point, but no time soon.

This is week 2 of my parent’s quarantine. Everyone’s a little stir crazy, but still trying to make the best of it. Also, an important thing to note is that everyone is healthy. My dad’s symptoms have pretty much subsided. His appetite is back, he’s not as fatigued, and he’s back to making his silly jokes. My mom never really had any symptoms, so I’m grateful for that. My sister has been the ultimate champ when it comes to caring for them.

For the sake of my parents’ sanity I’m glad their quarantine is almost over. It’s been entertaining watching them navigate not being able to leave the house. I took a couple days off while I waited for my results to come back so I had a little mini staycation, but now I am back to work and happy to be getting out of the house again.

Stay safe.

Xoxo,

Ash, RN

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Don’t settle

Today is a bittersweet day for me.

Today is the day I was supposed to sit at the settlement table and close on my house. I started this process back in December 2019 with a $250 down payment. I was excited and scared all at the same time. The plan was to continue putting money towards the down payment until today when I would come with the last $2200 of it. It was a new construction in a brand new development right across the street from an apartment complex that I lived in a couple years ago. I got to choose everything I wanted inside the house as far as counter colors, flooring, etc. but I had no say in the layout of the actual house. I paid $1000 every payday to ensure that my down payment would be a sufficient amount by settlement day.

I never stopped looking at houses. Even though my house was a decent house, it didn’t have everything that I wanted in it. I wanted a house with a garage; this house had no garage. I wanted a house with a split tub and shower in the master bath; this house had only a (very large) shower. I went back and forth wondering whether I was making the right decision. This is a house. This is an investment. This is somewhere I plan to live for at least three years. Do I really want to spend three years in a place that doesn’t have what I want just because I want to say that I have it? Especially considering how much my mortgage was going to be ($2300/month – twice my rent 😵)

I made that mistake when I bought my first car. It was there, and I didn’t want to leave without a vehicle. It was a cream (yes, cream) colored 2011 Kia Sorento. I liked it, but I didn’t love it. But I didn’t wanna leave the dealership without a car, so I bought it. It was nice for a while and then it became my biggest headache. One day last year I was getting ready to pick up my mom from the dealership where they’d just purchased my sister’s car. I went to start my Sorento and it wouldn’t start. This had been an ongoing problem that I couldn’t seem to get fixed. Every time I tried to take it to a shop they would tell me they wouldn’t know how to fix it unless it happened while the truck was with them. I couldn’t afford to leave my truck in a shop and wait for it to not start, so I went on about my business. On this particular morning when my car didn’t start, I put my purse and stuff in it and I cleaned everything else out. I knew we would be at the dealership for a few hours with my mom and there were other dealerships in the area – I was going to look for a car. We spent the entire time looking for a Chevy Equinox because that’s what I thought I wanted and I knew I could get everything I wanted in that SUV for a reasonable price. I left the dealership with a Mazda that had everything I wanted except one thing, and I was okay with that because that one thing could be added to my vehicle whenever I wanted.

I say all that to say – had I been patient the first time we went car shopping and done a bit more research I probably could’ve gotten a much better car. I could’ve saved myself a lot of money in car repairs and I probably wouldn’t have needed to buy another car so soon. But I settled. Settling with a car is one thing, but settling with a house is a completely different monster. You actually have to live there. Every day. All day.

I didn’t back out of purchasing my home. Had I done that, I would have lost all the money I put into it. It was actually an issue with my credit score that caused me to no longer qualify for the house. At first I was devastated, but then I was grateful because 1.) I didn’t really want the house. Nothing about it gave me peace. 2.) I don’t think I would have been able to afford it. I make decent money, but all my money would have been going towards the house and nothing else. 3.) I got all of my money back. Everything I had paid them was refunded to my bank account. I was able to take that money and pay my parents back for helping me to break my apartment lease, pay for my last 4 classes to finish my degree, and pay off three credit cards sooner than I planned. My credit score has since recovered and now that I’m not paying rent I can put way more money into my savings.

I restarted the process of buying a home, but with a realtor this time. I will definitely keep you guys posted.

Stay safe.

Xoxo,

Ash, RN

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Our new normal

Life has been very interesting in the Gray house these days. I don’t even know where to begin.

I recently had some vacation time for my 28th birthday. I took off for two weeks, but scheduled myself to be off for about three. It was interesting to say the least. My whole first week was full of anxiety like I have never experienced. I couldn’t sleep, my stomach was upset, I had heart palpitations, dizziness – the whole thing. I ended up scheduling a doctors appointment and an appointment with my therapist. Needless to say, both were necessary and I did get better. The second week went much better once I got my mind and body right and I was actually able to enjoy the rest of my time off.

I started back at work last Monday and it was actually nice to go back. I was only home for a little less than three weeks and I thought I would lose my mind, so I can’t imagine how everyone else has been doing it all this time. My first week back at work was nothing short of amazing. I had great patients and it was Nurses’ Week. It was just the return I needed after having the week that I had before my vacation started.

Then this past Monday…my dad tested positive for COVID-19. Talk about stretching!! I could go into so much detail about how my faith and patience have been stretched these past couple months but I won’t. I will say that my dad is doing alright, and for that I’m grateful. My mom was tested today since she had been around my dad while he was having symptoms. My sister was antibody tested last week and it was determined that she already had the virus. As for me, I’m sure I had it at some point but I was never officially tested (and I’m asymptomatic).

So, this is my new normal (for now).

Stay safe everyone.

Xoxo,

Ash, RN

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2020 Planning

We are less than 10 days away from a brand new year/decade, and I’m so excited 😊

Usually around this time I start to take an inventory of all the good things that happened in 2019 as well as the not-so-good things. This morning in my quiet time I actually wrote down my good and bad experiences, and I noticed some things. First of all, I’m extremely grateful to God that my list of good things was waaayyyy longer than my list of not-so-good things. The best things on my 2019 list: Andrea, Daxx, Legend, and Hendrix. These four tiny humans truly blessed my life, their parents’ lives, and the rest of my family as well. They’re absolutely adorable and we love them so much ❤️

I took a look at my not-so-good list and went into major planning mode. There were some things that happened that I can’t go back and change or fix, and honestly I’m okay with that. However, there were some things that were preventable and with a little bit of planning (and a lot of discipline) could be done correctly in 2020.

It’s definitely a process that I look forward to sharing with guys in the new year. ✌🏽

Xoxo,

Ash, RN