I can’t tell you all how many times I’ve had this thought. This particular phrase came up in a conversation with one of my cousins after I purchased a new vehicle. It was said jokingly but it really made me think.

Like I said, I’ve had this thought often. It comes with deep seated issues of comparison. It comes with wondering why this person is married and that person is having a baby and I’m not doing either of those things. My issues with comparison is something that I rarely speak about openly. When you bring up how you feel about everyone moving on in life, it is usually met with responses like “but you’re doing great things” or “not everything you see online is how it is in real life”.

Very true statements, but ultimately not helpful.

The thought process that I had after reading this in the text from my cousin is what prompted me to write. There are many times when I don’t feel like I’m moving up in the world, and it is usually in those times when I realize that I’ve definitely moved up in spirit. Insecurities and feelings of jealousy and discontentment use to plague my thoughts when seeing others “move up in the world”. But lately all of those feelings have been replaced with prayers for those that I see moving up and for myself.

Nothing deep with this post – just a thought.

Xoxo,

Ash, RN

“Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:7 NLT)

That’s the verse of the day for today. I came across it after I had messaged my ex-boyfriend for the last time, without knowing whether he would ever read my message. But that’s okay, because after sending it I experienced this very peace. Overall our relationship didn’t last that long, but it was fun. He was just what I needed in my life at the time. His presence served its purpose. I walked away from that experience with good things and bad things that I will probably carry with me for the rest of my life. Despite the good and bad, I have peace.

Although our relationship ended on good terms, the events that unfolded after were completely bizarre. I still can’t believe I entertained that foolishness. But I’m grateful! Being able to witness the craziness that was happening to my ex’s new girlfriend actually gave me a front row seat to what my life would have been like had we stayed together. How many of us actually get the opportunity to see up close and personal what God wanted to protect us from? Like I said, there are repercussions from that relationship that I will always carry with me but that’s a small price to pay for the peace and understanding I’ve been given regarding why it had to end.

Just thought I’d share.

That’s all I have to say about that.

Xoxo,

Ash, RN

https://astoldbyashley.com/2019/05/21/100/

My god-daughter just celebrated her 9th birthday yesterday and I was really struggling with what to get her as a gift. I knew I didn’t want to give her money and I bought her clothes for Christmas. I don’t have children right now, so I have no idea what they like. I decided to pick the brains of a few of my coworkers that have young children or grandchildren. The best idea I got was a keepsake box. My coworker suggested buying a box and filling it with a few little things that were special to us and instructing her to continue adding to it. I had no idea where I was going to find a box or what I was going to put inside of it. I mentioned the idea to my sister, and of course she suggested: Let’s make one. So we did.

I knew from the beginning that something I wanted to include in the box was a journal. Writing has always been one of my favorite things to do, but journaling is a little different. It’s a place to put your innermost thoughts and feelings that you don’t really want to share with anyone else. Every little girl needs one. We got her a cute little journal from Target along with a set of gel pens because let’s face it, the colorful pens are what make journaling fun.

The whole process, had we sat down and done it straight through, probably would’ve taken 3-4 hours. The inspiration for the box was a cute little journal that I picked up from target. All of the products were purchased from A.C. Moore including the box itself.

Materials:

• Wooden box
• Paint (black and gold)
• Paint brushes
• Wooden letters
• Hot glue gun and glue sticks
• Stencil
• Gold ribbon

It took us a whole evening to finish this, mainly because we other things going on that day including celebrating my 26th birthday. But here’s the finished product (minus the gold ribbon) and the journal that inspired it:

This my first time ever doing something like this, but it was extremely fun. Lately I’ve been battling with anxiety, and doing this project was incredibly relaxing for me. We didn’t line the inside of the box, but I suggest lining it with felt or some type of fabric of you decide to make one on your own. OR!!! If you’d rather my sister and I make you one, just shoot me an email or leave a comment. 😊

Xoxo,

Ash, RN

Today is my birthday!!!

I am so excited. I’ve been on a little bit of a social media fast, so to everyone who already has or plans to wish me a happy birthday today – thank you.

I always like to take some time before my birthday to reflect on how the past year has been. The year of 25 was a great one, but emotionally charged as well.

25 was the year I graduated nursing school and became a Registered Nurse. 25 was the year I began my career at one of the most prestigious hospitals in the country. 25 was the year I moved out on my own. 25 was the first full year I had without my cousin. 25 was the year that I accepted the fact that it’s okay to be single. 25 was the year I accepted the call pursue relationships God’s way by joining The One University. 25 was also the year I decided to share my life with the world through this blog.

As I sit here on day 1 of year 26 and reflect on my accomplishments and perceived failures of 25, I’m reminded of just how amazing the grace of God truly is. I can’t help but believe that this is first day of one of the best years of my life.

(For the last week I’ve been listening to a sermon series by Pastor Michael Todd called Grace Like a Flood. Click the link to check it out.)

When I first started looking for places to live, I must admit that I did it with a bit of naïveté. I had this image in my head of what living on my own would look like. It was glamorous, complete with upholstered furniture, bar stools, open floor plans, and freshly brewed coffee every morning. I was so very wrong.

I’ve been in my apartment for almost 2 whole months and it doesn’t look much different than the day I moved in. I still have boxes!! 2 months in and I still have boxes with items in them. While moving out was one of the most exciting things I’ve ever done, it’s also been one of the dumbest things I’ve ever done.

I enjoy living on my own, but I hate living on my own. It’s something that most people have a desire to do once they reach a certain age. As I type this, I can hear the voices of all of my family members that told me not to do it.

“Don’t pay bills until you absolutely have to”

“Wait. Just wait”

“Don’t be in such a rush to grow up”

“Paying rent is not fun”

The list goes on and on…

I knew what paying rent would entail. I knew that there would be some stress involved in paying other bills. What no one prepared me for was the intense feelings of loneliness that come with living on your own.

I didn’t want a roommate. I’m not that interested in sharing my space with another human being. The only person I’m willing to do that with is the husband God plans to bless me with one day. So for now, I remain alone. For the most part, it’s been great. It’s quiet. It’s peaceful. Everything is how I left it when I return from wherever I’ve spent my day.

But, there are some moments where the quiet is just too much. It’s deafening. When you live alone, you’re essentially forced to deal with yourself. I was excited about living by myself because I thought this would finally give me the time to read, study, pray, etc in peace. Little did I know that God would use this time to force me to deal with myself. When you have no one to talk to but God, you learn a lot about yourself very quickly.

I guess that’s the main reason I started this blog: to share the things I’m learning.

Update: Since I originally made this post, my parents have been here and cleaned up my apartment. Lol! Out of the goodness of my mother’s heart, she cleaned up everything while I was at work one Saturday. I mean everything! Home girl washed my dishes, washed my clothes, cleaned my bathroom…everything. Thanks mom!!