As Told By Ashley

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October 21, 2022 by Ashley

Nurses’ Station 10/21

Back in June I decided to leave labor and delivery in an effort to enjoy the rest of my pregnancy. At the hospital where I was doing my contract we had seen an increase in full term fetal demises and I was not coping well with it. I had no intention on returning to labor and delivery, but I did.

I’ve been back to work at my OG hospital for about a week now. It’s been a very interesting adjustment. The biggest change I’ve experienced since coming back is the level of empathy I now feel. Prior to having my own child, I could only imagine what my patients were going through. Now, I get it. I’m keeping my number of shifts in L&D to the bare minimum. I still have the desire to do something else in nursing, but labor will always have a special place in my heart – especially at my OG hospital.

Pretty soon I’ll be starting my next venture. I’ll be sharing more about that later, but I’m super excited. It’s giving me the opportunity to help moms in a different way and do it all from the comfort of my own home. That’s the bonus. I’ll get to do my job and be with my son. It’s a complete switch up for me. I’m going from working three 12-hour shifts a week to doing a normal Monday through Friday 8-hour job. The thought of it is so weird to me, but I’m looking forward to all that it will allow to do at home with and for my family.

That’s all for now friends. Xoxo,

Ash, RN

November 10, 2021 by Ashley

It’s official

I gave my notice at my OG hospital; I’m officially counting down the days until I’m no longer a staff nurse. I’m hopping on the travel nurse bandwagon, so I’m no longer able to keep up with the competencies and time requirements of my OG unit.

I’m excited, but I’m also really sad. Sending my letter of resignation was actually very difficult for me. I had told my manager when my last day would be, but it took me a couple days to send the actual letter. I was surprised by my own emotions honestly. I didn’t expect to feel sad, but that is truly what I felt.

I think my feelings toward leaving my job are mainly because of the people I’ll be leaving behind. I’ve met some great nurses, some great doctors, and some even greater patients. It’s a place filled with people and rules and protocols that I’ve grown accustomed to. I’m comfortable there, and leaving a place of comfort for the unknown is terrifying. When I first went to per diem status, it was with the mindset of having something to fall back on in case I didn’t like the job I was taking at the time and it’s a good thing I did. I ended up quitting that job after 2 weeks and my OG hospital welcomed me back with open arms and lots of laughs at my attempt to be free.

Making the decision to leave is a big jump for me. I’m a creature of habit. I like comfort and familiarity and knowing what I’m walking in to, even though the only thing I knew I was walking into at my OG hospital was pure craziness. I tell myself often that the job is the same, it’s just the location that is different. It helps that I’ve had a great experience with my first L&D assignment; they made the transition super easy. I’m not sure where my next stop will be on this travel journey, but I know I’ll be going out of state. I’ll most likely stay on the east coast for a while longer before I venture out to some of the other places I’d like to go, but who knows. I’m learning to embrace the idea of going wherever life takes me.

I will definitely keep you guys updated.

Xoxo,

Ash, RN

September 28, 2021 by Ashley

The Nurses’ Station 9/28

Hey guys!!

It’s been a while since the last time I came to the nurses’ station, but that’s because so much has happened these last few weeks. I’ve officially entered the world of travel nursing and it has been a crazy journey so far. Technically I’ve been traveling since June, but my first assignment was completely different than my actual specialty. I have my reasons for why I chose that job in particular, and I think it was a good fit honestly. However, I’m back in labor and delivery and I must say it feels good to be back. I still pick up hours at my OG unit and I have definitely learned to appreciate them for the things they taught me, but it feels good to see how other people practice. I don’t like to put my people out there, so I won’t say which hospital I’m working at but it has been nothing short of an amazing experience so far. The nurses I’ve met are amazing. The doctors have been super polite so far which we all know is nothing short of a miracle. I look forward to see how the rest of my contract goes and I’ll try my hardest to keep you guys updated here at the nurses’ station. 😊

So tell me, are you a travel nurse? What made you decide to start traveling? What tips and tricks do you have for someone like me who is just starting out? Let’s talk about it.

Xoxo,

Ash, RN

May 26, 2021 by Ashley

Sink or swim

“Throw her in the pool”

This is what was said to me by a charge nurse when I offered to stay and help a newer nurse do something she had never done before by herself. The poor girl was freaking out and it was assumed that if she were just thrown into the task, she would either sink or swim.

Why is this the mentality experienced nurses use to justify the unfair treatment of newer, less experienced nurses?

I don’t understand. Heaven forbid the nurse sinks, and then she’s at the mercy of the physician (who never makes mistakes *insert intense eye roll*), under scrutiny by the manager, and the topic of nasty gossip between coworkers. Nurses are cruel.

My biggest issue with this mentality is that not everybody learns this way. There are some people who thrive in situations like this. You give them a problem or put them in the middle of a situation and they will figure it out. There are three responses to a threat/situation – fight, flight, or freeze.

I am the type of person who tends to freeze. So if it were me thrown into a situation like this I would freak the f**k out! After a minute (or five) of freaking out I would snap out of it and do my job. Then afterwards I would beat myself up over all the things I did wrong. And the sad thing is – I have been thrown into situations like this multiple times and it’s really not a good look. It really makes you second guess your skill and ability as a nurse – at least that’s what it did to me.

I honestly didn’t write this post to come up with a answer for the problem; I really just wanted to bring awareness to the situation. Just to give some background into how much this situation bothered me – I started writing this post the night the incident happened TWO WEEKS AGO!!! But I’m just now finishing it and posting it because I was so upset that I had to step away and really gather my thoughts.

I agree that at some point as a new nurse you have to learn to do things on your own, but I don’t agree with setting someone up for failure especially when they’ve expressed their discomfort with a task. I know in this particular situation it wasn’t done out of spite, but I also know that that is not the case for everyone. Some people really do it to be mean as if watching someone fail proves a point. On this day at my job it could been addressed at the start of the shift and it wasn’t even after multiple experienced nurses expressed concern, and that’s what got under my skin.

For any new nurse who is reading this, these are the things I want you to take away from this post:

  • Speak up for yourself. If you’re given an assignment that you truly believe is beyond your capability, say something!! If you’re uncomfortable with an assignment or task, say something. Who cares if the charge nurse or your coworkers don’t like it, they’re not the ones who matter – the patient does.
  • Ask for help. Don’t be afraid to ask a more experienced nurse for help. Ideally you should still have access to your preceptor to ask questions and/or for added support.
  • Try, try, and try again. Like I said before, eventually you will have to do it – whatever it is. So don’t be afraid to try. You’ll never learn if you don’t at least attempt. But here’s the thing – get someone to be there with you the first time you attempt. There’s no shame in that. There’s a lot of things you won’t get the opportunity to experience on orientation, and when that happens it’s okay to call on someone more experienced for guidance.
  • Be honest. This goes along with speaking up. Be honest to your coworkers and be honest with yourself about your skill level. If you don’t know, you don’t know. Nursing is honestly not the career where you wanna “fake it til you make it”.
  • Debrief. I think we as nurses have fallen out of the habit of debriefing. It’s overlooked way more than it should be and only seems to be a thing when something goes wrong. But maybe – and this is just me sharing my slightly professional opinion – if we debriefed the good outcomes/incidents more often we might not have as many bad outcomes. People underestimate the power of a simple “good job doing…” and how it can spark conversations between staff about how it was done, the thought process behind it, where it was learned, and if it could be applied to more than one patient situation. Debriefing is especially important for newer nurses because it gives them the opportunity to learn what they did right, what they did wrong, and how they can improve. It’s supposed to be a safe and objective conversation.
  • Make sure you have a mentor. I cannot stress this enough for new nurses. It’s something that we’ve recently implemented on our unit and while I think it’s a good idea, I think it’s best done with nurses outside of your home unit. Preceptors are there to teach you the ins and outs of nursing on your unit. Mentors are there to help you develop the ins and outs of you as a nurse. One develops skill and the other develops character. Both are essential.

I hope this helps someone. I’m sorry if you’ve ever been thrown in and expected to sink or swim. My prayer is that you stick with it regardless of the outcome. See it through. Celebrate your wins and learn from your losses. Love you guys.

Xoxo,

Ash, RN

February 18, 2021 by Ashley

The Nurses’ Station 2/18

Well, it’s been a little over two months since I checked in from the nurses’ station and things are definitely different for this RN.

Good news: I started a new job on a different labor and delivery unit at a completely different hospital.

Bad news: I quit 😳

I had only been there for 2.5 weeks. It wasn’t a bad job; it was actually very nice. The nurses were great. It’s way slower than my original L&D unit. It seemed as though it was going to be a lot less stressful.

So why did I leave?

Because you know, I’m just not interested anymore. The whole point of me switching jobs was to see if I didn’t like labor at all or if I just didn’t enjoy it at my original hospital. The truth is – it’s neither of those reasons. The work is still the same. Labor will always be labor. The doctors are different and the policies are different, but the core of patient care in L&D will never change.

After almost 2.5 years as a labor nurse, I’ve learned some things about myself and nursing in general:

  • I don’t always want to have the same patient all day long and labor can be a looonnngggggg process (this was also an issue I had as a psych nurse)
  • I like to talk to my patients, educate them, and send them on their way
  • Bedside nursing isn’t for everyone and that’s okay, but bedside nursing doesn’t look the same in every specialty
  • Better to have a nurse who loves their job but isn’t as good at it than to have a nurse who’s good at it but doesn’t love it. One will work their ass off to become better and the other will end up sacrificing adequate patient care for the sake of getting the job done faster. (Guilty of both honestly 🤦🏽‍♀️)
  • I am not a night shift person anymore. I used to be able to work it all, but now I’m more convinced than ever that I need to be awake when the rest of the world is awake and sleeping when everyone else is sleeping

So, what now?

Honestly guys, I don’t even know. Luckily I’m still employed PRN at my OG L&D unit and even though it is the craziest place ever, I still enjoy it most times. So I think I will ride that out until I find something a little bit more to my liking. There’s also the possibility and likelihood of going back to school to get my next degree. I’m just unsure right now. It’s scary really – to go from having everything planned out to wondering what next week is going to look like. I’ll have to keep you guys posted.

Xoxo,

Ash, RN

April 17, 2020 by Ashley

The Nurses’ Station 4/17

My vacation officially started when I clocked out yesterday evening at 7:30 pm. It could not have come fast enough. I literally had my worst work week to date. Yesterday topped the cake.

I still consider myself a new nurse; I’ve only had my license for a little under three years. I definitely consider myself a new labor and delivery nurse because I’ve only been doing this job on my own (officially) since December, so not even a whole six months. I still make some mistakes and I’m learning to not just be okay with that but to also learn from it.

So yesterday I had the wonderful pleasure of working with a specific doctor that about 95% of the nurses on my unit HATE. I would love to put his name out there but that wouldn’t be fair (especially while I’m still employed there). My issue is…and I guess the question I’m putting out there is: why do nurses continue to let (some) doctors be jerks to them? And why is it continually written off as “well that’s just the way s/he is”?

I have a very low tolerance for rudeness. I believe that you can disagree and still be respectful. I believe that you can not like a person and still be respectful. I was raised that way. So, when I come into a work environment and these doctors are just rude for no reason, I truly question how they were raised. I made a mistake yesterday – mind you it wasn’t life threatening – I called a patient complete who was actually 6cm. Oops. My bad. I’m sorry. My checks are still a little wonky. I made a mistake nonetheless and I wasted the doctor’s time. I get it. Time passes and I go to check my patient again and this time she is complete, so I call. He basically told me to find a better nurse to confirm my check. I got a second nurse who also said the patient was complete. He continues berating me over the phone to the point where I had to tell him – look, I made a mistake earlier and I get that but I’m still new and you need to be a little bit more patient with me. He proceeds to tell me, “believe me, I’m being nice”. My response: if that’s what you call nice, then you should nicer – and I hung up.

I was so angry all the way home. I think I even fell asleep angry. I also have to admit that it shook my confidence a little bit. Like I said, I’ve had a rough week. I’m glad I’m officially on vacation because it gives me time to gather myself and prepare myself mentally for when I return to work in May. Hopefully I can go back with a different mindset and with a little bit of my confidence back.

How do you guys handle rude doctors? Have you ever refused to work with a doctor? Do you feel like your coworkers would support you if you took a stand? Let me know what you think

Xoxo,

Ash, RN

March 23, 2020 by Ashley

Social distancing

The world has pretty much been in an uproar since for the last couple of weeks because of Coronavirus. It’s amazing how it took something of this magnitude to get the world’s attention. Since the whispers of the virus first started, I noticed an increase in my anxiety and I’m sure I’m not alone in that. I actually had to stop looking at social media and news sites. I didn’t (and still don’t) watch the news when they’re talking about it. I don’t even like to read about it or respond to it in my group text messages. Avoidance isn’t the best form of protection but at this point in order to maintain my sanity, I try not to get involved in the conversation – even with other healthcare workers.

Life at the nurses station has changed a lot in the past week. Things were changing in the matter of one 12-hour shift. I would leave work at 7:30 pm and come back to newly mandated hospital policies the next day at 7 am. My hospital has implemented a One Visitor policy and I know of others where no visitors are allowed. Licenses that were supposed to be renewed by the end of March and April are now exempt from expiring until further notice. New nursing licenses cannot be issued. When I do take the time to have conversations with my friends from nursing school about how their hospitals are handling the virus, I become more aware of the different information we’re receiving. What I heard from our infectious disease doctors is completely different from what my friends have heard from their infectious disease doctors. In such a chaotic time in healthcare, who do you trust?

God

I choose to trust God. Why? Because God doesn’t change. At a time where information and policies are changing before you can even carry out previous instructions we need stability. For that, I choose God. For peace of mind, I choose God. For protection, I choose God. It’s been amazing to see all the other gods people have chosen over the one true God (myself included). Fear tends to expose those things within us. There’s no better time than the present to rekindle your relationship with the one who holds your future in His hands. And I can assure you America, it is not the president. Open your bibles and read them. Pray a little bit more. Watch a sermon. Listen to some worship music. Do something! Every single thing that can serve as a distraction from God has been affected in some way, shape, or form. Use this time wisely.

Stay inside. Wash your hands. Don’t touch your face. Practice social distancing. Flatten the curve. Keep the faith.

Xoxo,

Ash, RN

January 18, 2020 by Ashley

It’s a nurse thing

I remember when I first started going to therapy, I told my therapist that I didn’t have a lot of female friends outside of my cousins. Why? Because women are irky. Every time I have a rough day at work, I question how I ended up working on a unit where the nurses and the patients are all women. It amazes me every time.

So, this thought popped into my head again today as I sat in my patient’s room mulling over the two phone calls that I placed for help, the nurse at the desk that I asked a small favor of, and the two nurses who actually ended up helping me. I thought about all of the choices I had made in terms of building work relationships since coming to the labor side of L&D, and I thought about the conversation I had yesterday with my nurse educator.

The conclusion I came to is this: it’s not just a “women” thing; it’s a nurse thing. We as nurses have got to do better at supporting one another regardless of how we feel about each other. It’s the number one reason why I’ve always avoided women. Every decision seems to be based on a feeling and I’m not talking about a gut feeling or women’s intuition. I’m specifically talking about the “I don’t like her so…” feelings.

I had a discussion with a coworker yesterday about why I prefer not to sit at the nurses station. I like to sit at the bedside or I like to sit in my empty room. It was once suggested that I do it to hide and avoid getting another patient – which I’m sure some nurses do. I prefer it because I don’t want to be apart of the gossip, it’s more quiet, and I can focus on my charting. I’m also closer to my patient in the event that something happens.

My unit has a very high volume and turnover rate as far as patient load and all of the nurses stay pretty busy for the most part. It’s really not the kind of unit where you’re meant to fly solo in terms of patient care. For the most part if you are not the one needing the help with a patient, you’re helping another nurse with their patient. And that’s fine. That’s the way it should be.

Teamwork

It becomes an issue when help is given and then the nurse who requested the help is talked about at the nurses station or amongst that group of “experienced” nurses. That’s my pet peeve. That’s what I try to stay away from. That’s what makes me want to stay to myself on a unit where staying to yourself is unsafe. If I’m honest, I’m very particular about who I ask for help from and I happened to have worked a shift today where my options were slim to none. And personally, I don’t think you should ever feel like that as a nurse. You should never feel like you can’t call on or trust the nurses you work with. You should never feel like a burden when you do need to call for help.

Also, if you are the nurse called in to help someone and you notice that the other nurse is doing something you don’t like or wouldn’t recommend – be an adult and talk about it with THAT nurse. Don’t go back to the nurses station and talk about it with your clique like we’re in grades 7-11. Remember that speaks more volume about who you are as nurse, friend, and woman than it does the other person.

December 15, 2019 by Ashley

Thinking of a master plan

I just finished orientation at my current job.

For any new nurse, being on orientation can be a stressful experience. Your preceptor (the person who orients you) can make or break your entire experience. After going through one orientation on this job and now experiencing another while also taking into account the orientation that I received at my previous place of employment, I’ve come to notice some things and I want to share them with you guys. It’s become something that I’m quite interested in pursuing because it’s a critical time for a new nurse, especially if they’re a new graduate nurse. Programs like Nurse Residency are great but do they teach you how to navigate the intricate relationship that you will have with your preceptor(s).

Fortunately for me, I had a great Nurse Mentor in my educator from Nurse Residency. Her name was Christianna and I’m 100% for sure that had it not been for her I would not have made it through my first year as a nurse. I enjoyed being a nurse, but I hated my job. Psychiatric nursing is not for the faint of heart. I hated working five days a week (rotating shifts!!!), and I absolutely hated my commute into the city. I wanted to quit multiple times, but she continued to encourage me. She met with me and we talked about so many things to help manage life on the job and off.

I had great preceptors when I worked in psych. They were easy to talk to, not into micromanaging, and a great resource for questions that I had. They were also very supportive of the fact that I did not want to remain a psych nurse past my first year. When I switched specialties and moved into Labor and Delivery I was oriented twice. Once when I first started to be a baby nurse, which is where I worked until I could transition to actual labor. And now here we are…

As I stated earlier, there are quite a few things I’ve learned/observed over these past 12 weeks of orientation as it pertains to preceptors:

1. If you don’t want to precept, don’t. I cannot stress this enough!!! It doesn’t do the new nurse any good to be taught by someone who has no real interest in teaching and it will show in how they are taught as well as how they perform without you. You may not see it but others definitely will.

2. Having only one preceptor isn’t always the best idea. A lot of people think that having more than one preceptor is difficult because everyone does things differently. For me, it was eye opening. There are so many things that I learned from my main preceptor that other nurses didn’t do or just did differently. Also, some people are just better at explaining things. So I was able to pick what worked for me and I went back to my main preceptor with a better understanding of certain things.

3. If you don’t think your preceptor (or your orientee if you are the preceptor) is a good fit for you, SPEAK UP. When it was suggested to me who my main preceptor would be – I literally was like 😬 oh no. I agreed to learn from her and while I’m glad I did, it did not come easily. It wasn’t until I got a new preceptor that I was able to appreciate all that I had learned because I was actually given the opportunity to apply it.

4. As a preceptor, know your orientee’s orientation schedule. Maybe it’s just me, but I feel like it’s just as much the preceptor’s responsibility to know what you’re supposed to be learning during the week as it is the orientee’s. You both should have a schedule and you both should be responsible for what is to be learned.

5. Know when to let go. This one goes both ways. Preceptors need to know when to let go and let their orientees do the work. Orientees need to know when to take initiative and just do it, especially if you feel like you’re capable. You have to cut the cord eventually (L&D joke). The thing I appreciated most about my preceptors in psych and my preceptor as a baby nurse was that they taught me and then they let me go. They were always close by if I got stuck or had questions, but that was it. They weren’t constantly over my shoulder once they saw that I was confident in my skills. That trust was a good feeling for me and I was comforted knowing that I could always call if I truly needed them.

I think these 5 things are a good place to start for now. There’s so much more I could comment on about my orientation as it regards to my unit as a whole. Myself and a few other girls were the first to be oriented under our new nurse educator who is amazing. But there are definitely some kinks that need to be worked out. It was interesting to say the least and I’m so glad it’s over. ✌🏽

Xoxo,

Ash, RN

February 12, 2019 by Ashley

I’m currently working on an assignment for school. It’s about mentoring. The assignment got me thinking…

What type of mentor do I want to be?

At my last job I had the privilege of being assigned a mentor that was separate from my preceptor (more on that later). By the time my mentor and I knew she was my mentor, I was already over my job and looking for new ones. The person that was chosen to be my mentor was incredibly fit for the job. She was in the process of getting her master’s and a clinical instructor. She was great to work with and a very helpful resource on those stressful days. Had we had the proper mentor/mentee relationship, I think we both would have flourished. I think it would have been good for her to put on her resume or use for the clinical ladder and for me – maybe I wouldn’t have hated my job so much so quickly.

I mentioned earlier that my mentor was not my preceptor. Smartest decision ever! My preceptor trained me on the job for the job. She was also great and a very helpful resource. Preceptors are meant to teach and evaluate your performance as a nurse; the relationship is professional. In the case of mentors, I think the relationship is (or should be) more personal.

Things you should look for in a mentor:

  • Someone who listens to you
  • Someone who encourages you
  • Someone who is willing to push you out of you comfort zone
  • Someone who has the ability to look past how THEY feel to help you
  • Someone who will hold you accountable
  • Someone who does not shy away from providing constructive criticism
  • Someone who has the ability to be lead (Some of the best mentors have their own mentor. You cannot be an effective leader if you don’t know how to be lead.)

Those were just some of the things I thought about. I’m interested to know if you guys had a mentor and how they treated you. Were they helpful? Kind? Could they have done or been better? Let me know.

Xoxo,

Ash, RN

https://astoldbyashley.com/2019/02/12/85/

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