As Told By Ashley

I’m still pregnant!!!

By the time you guys see this post I will have been in labor for almost 30 hours. First babies are no joke. I have every intention on sharing my entire birth story with you guys, but today is not that day. It’s been a rough 30 hours filled with some interesting stories. I can’t wait to share how different my experience has been as the patient compared to what life was like as the nurse.

Anyways!!! I’ve been with my parents at their house since I was discharged from the hospital yesterday. M is still trying to finish up some last minute work projects while we’re still in this stage of early labor since we have no idea how long it will last. So far, the experience has been like nothing I’ve ever dealt with before. It’s definitely got me rethinking how many kids I actually want 😂.

I think this is going to be it for now. I’m going to continue to try to rest in between these painful contractions. The next time I post should be with a brand new baby in my arms 🥰. Enjoy your Monday everyone!!

Xoxo,

Ash, RN

Yes, I’m still pregnant.

I’m 39 weeks today and my child seems to have no interest in vacating the premises. I’m hoping that he decides to make his grand entrance this week. I was for tomorrow so he could have 8/8 as his birthday, but I guess he has his own plans. I don’t really have much to share with this post. I’m just waiting semi-patiently for my little guy. I’m having more contractions though which I think is a good sign. My dog is becoming even more clingy which also makes me wonder if things are going to happen soon.

Either way, I’m hoping this week is it. I really just wanna meet my little guy face to face. I plan on continuing to do all the things this week to help encourage him to come out, but if he’s anything like his mama he’ll come when he’s good and ready.

All prayers and well wishes for a speedy and safe labor and delivery would be appreciated. Healthy mom, healthy baby is all we’re hoping for 💙.

Xoxo,

Ash, RN

38 WEEKS!!!

I’m not going to lie to you guys – I seriously hope this is my last post of this pregnancy. I would love for my next post to be about my first few days of motherhood, but we’ll see how it goes. I’m hoping to have this little guy out before next Monday, but babies do what they want. So, I’ll do what I can on my end and just hope that he cooperates on his end.

As far as getting ready for my little guy’s arrival – his nursery is somewhat finished. I just have some clothes to put away; it’s mostly small pieces like socks, hats, and onesies. All of his little pacifiers and things like that need to go away. That’s mainly what is on the agenda for tomorrow. I’ve pretty much accepted the fact that his nursery doesn’t and probably won’t look like what I had always imagined my first child’s nursery would look like. But after all, that seems to be the theme of this entire situation. Nothing about it looks the way I thought it would or has gone the way I planned, but it’s okay. I’ve had a healthy pregnancy and I’m hoping to have a healthy and safe delivery.

In other news…

My cousin and his wife (who are currently stationed in Germany) just had their second child – a baby boy named Henson Lee. He is the absolute cutest thing. He looks just like my cousin did as a baby, but their first son looks just like my cousin too so it was to be expected. It’s exciting but also very sad because I actually never got to meet their first son. While they were stationed at Fort Rucker my entire family drove down to Alabama to visit and I didn’t go. The coco loco was still a big thing and I was at the hospital working at least five days a week, so going on a trip in a 15-passenger van with my family (a few of whom are considered members of the high risk population due to health issues) was just not the move. Now my cousin and his wife have had their second child, and they’re all the way in Germany. I think they’ll be there for another year so it’ll be a while before I get to meet those kiddos, but I’ll have a little cousin to introduce them to when it’s time.

This past weekend my other cousin (who happens to be the older brother of the cousin mentioned above) and his girlfriend had a gender reveal. They’re expecting their first child in December, and it’s a boy 💙💙💙. I have to admit – I’m still a little upset about that because I really wanted it to be a girl. For this particular cousin…I needed him to have a girl, but no. It’s a boy and I am super happy for them. His name will be Vincenzo – super Italian, but I would expect nothing less from my cousin’s very Italian girlfriend. I love it. As if a gender reveal wasn’t enough to celebrate on Saturday, my cousin also proposed. It was the sweetest thing I’ve ever seen and she was super surprised. I can’t wait to celebrate everything with them.

Our family just keeps growing in the best possible ways. It’s truly a blessing. At some point I hope to be able to share more pictures on here, but not without everyone’s consent. At 38 weeks, I’m having all kinds of symptoms similar to what I had in my first trimester and today is one of those days where it’s a bit worse than others. That’s why this post is super late today. But like M continues to remind me, it’s almost over. Even in the midst of being and feeling the way that I do in this moment, I’m still grateful for this kiddo moving around in my belly and he is MOVING! Y’all stay cool in this heat; I’m going to get some rest.

Xoxo,

Ash, RN

As of today, I am officially full term. I’m 37 weeks and we are patiently awaiting the arrival of our little one. Preparing for a baby can be super stressful, and I’m a little bit of a procrastinator for sure. My mom says I get it from my dad; I think it’s the enneagram 9 in me. Despite my procrastination and the financial challenges I’ve faced these past two months, my little guy’s nursery is about 80% ready. All that’s left is little things for organization and aesthetics. I plan to put a rug in there and buy some cube organizers – things like that. Otherwise his little crib is all set up and I’m so excited. I actually moved it into my bedroom because it’s small enough and I like the idea of him sleeping in it instead of a pack and play.

It’s definitely exciting to look at it on a daily basis, and it makes me even more excited to meet my kiddo. Making it to 37 weeks has been pure joy for me. I started this pregnancy as a ball of anxiety thinking of every possible thing that could go wrong. I’m still anxious, but it doesn’t consume me the way it once did. As I’ve stated before, feeling this kiddo move is the best part of this whole pregnancy journey. I’m actually a little sad that that part is almost over, but the positive side of that is finally having him in my arms. I’ll continue to keep you guys updated for sure.

Xoxo,

Ash, RN

I am 34 weeks today with 42 days left until my due date. The word nervous does not even begin to describe it, but I am excited nonetheless. M and I had an hour long conversation about not being able to wait to actually see this little guy’s face. It’s been a LONG time coming and we really are excited. There’s a part of me that’s hoping he decides to make his debut a little early, but the nurse in me wants to him to fully bake. Plus, genetics is not on my side when it comes to due date deliveries (thanks Mom 😉).

Our baby shower is this weekend and it’ll be M’s first time meeting my family, so that’s a little nerve wrecking and I hope it goes well. My family isn’t terrible but they can definitely be a lot to handle – we all have very strong personalities. I have no doubt that M can handle it though; he’s very chill.

I’ve had a lot going on this past month and usually I would share, but I’m not ready to quite yet. When the time is right, I will. Going into these last 40+ days of pregnancy definitely has me feeling some type of way. I’ve been an extreme ball of emotions for multiple reasons and I can’t thank my family and M enough for putting up with me and the ups and downs I’ve been experiencing. It’s been an emotional rollercoaster. I feel like there’s so much to do and so little time, and the month of July is full of family functions and celebrations that I would love to be present for. It’ll be interesting to see how it all works out. I’m tired already and things haven’t even really started yet. I will try my hardest to keep you guys updated, but don’t be upset if you don’t hear from me for a while.

I’m out. Xoxo,

Ash, RN

P.S. – Happy Belated Birthday to my sissy who turned 23 at the beginning of the month. If you’ve ever had the opportunity to meet my sister you already know how amazing of a person she is. If you haven’t met her, I’m sure you’ll come to know her one way or another. She’s going to do great things. Happy Birthday sis!! Love you 💜

As of yesterday, I’m officially 32 weeks (which puts me at the beginning of month 8 if you’re like M and need to know that). I have about eight weeks left before I get to meet my little guy and that has me feeling all the emotions. There’s so much to do in these next eight weeks and it’s a little overwhelming. I made the last minute decision to turn my spare room into a nursery. Initially I wasn’t going to but after some careful consideration and deciding to stay put in this house a little bit longer, I figure kiddo deserves his own space. I’ll most likely be sharing some pictures of the transformation because I think it’ll be fun. Hopefully my family actually lets me help get things situated; if you were to ask them I can’t do anything 🙄😂. Like the baby shower, his nursery will be teddy bear themed. I’m pretty excited to see how it all turns out. I’m not very decorative, my mom and I are alike in that aspect, but I’m excited to try to turn his room into something.

I will let you guys know how it all turns out. Until next time friends…

Xoxo,

Ash, RN

Today makes week 31 of pregnancy and my little guy is moving!!! He has been super active in my belly since he was like 17 weeks and it is the coolest thing. I won’t go on record saying that I have enjoyed being pregnant, but I will say that feeling this little guy move is the coolest thing ever I have ever felt in my entire life. M and I are super excited, but I think I’m a bit more expressive with my excitement than he is. Our baby shower is month away and then a little over a month after that it’ll be baby time.

Nervous is an understatement.

I’m starting to feel all the nesting vibes, so my desire to get this house clean is at an all time high. Last weekend my mom was supposed to come help me clean up (aka clean all the places I’m afraid to clean because I’m afraid of bugs and there’s no telling what I may find 😂), but I had the Rona so that didn’t happen. I’ve been feeling much better these last 3 or 4 days so I’m taking full advantage of that today and attempting to clean the most visible places in my house. If I’m honest, my living room hasn’t looked this clean in months thanks to a pitty named Storm. It’s really nice to see a freshly swiffered wood floor. I don’t know if I spelled that right but who cares.

Sunday is Father’s Day and finding a gift for a father-to-be is really hard you guys. I went on google and Amazon; I read all the lists that Buzzfeed and websites like that put out for Father’s Day. You know what I discovered? Those people are kinda stupid. None of the gift ideas I saw were ideal for my father or my child’s father. In what world would someone want a meat subscription?? Do men really want things like that? I really cannot fathom getting my dad something like that knowing that it would just create more work for my mom because my dad is not cooking! I read one list that was specifically for fathers-to-be and I kid you not, one of the ideas was a baby carrier. What the actual heck??? Why in the world would I ever buy that for my kid’s father. That’s not a Father’s Day gift, that’s more like a baby shower gift. Basically I was left to find my own gift and I did; it just came in today and I’m excited. My sister got my brother-in-law the sweetest gift and I can’t wait for him to see it. The highlight of the Father’s Day gift giving was giving our Dad his gift – a new remote control car. It seems like a really small thing, but if you knew my dad you would understand our excitement to give him his gift which he got a whole week early. Needless to say, I think Father’s Day will be a hit in all of our households and I’m excited for that.

My next OB appointment is this Friday and I’m looking forward to that. Some things left on my to do list: schedule out my next few appointments, pick a pediatrician 😬, pack my hospital bag, pack the kiddo’s diaper bag, clean my house, my car is being detailed this week, and we have to set up our crib. So much to do, so little time. I should go get started. ✌🏽 out friends.

Xoxo,

Ash, RN

So, I made the very difficult decision to leave my job. I’ve been doing labor and delivery for almost 4 years now, and I think I’m done. There are many contributing factors to this, but the main reason is the fact that I’m expecting my own kiddo. Up until recently, I’ve prided myself in my ability to compartmentalize a lot of the terrible things we see in nursing – especially in L&D. I must be 100% honest and say that I think my inability to do so lately has more to do with the fact that I’m expecting my own child. I’ve found it to be a lot more difficult to stay objective in certain situations. It’s also a lot harder to handle issues such as fetal demises, especially with the increase that we’ve seen since COVID started.

I took a much needed break from L&D before, but that was mostly due to burnout. I was working on the busiest L& D unit in the state of MD and because I was saving to buy a house, I was working 5-6 days a week. I found myself no longer truly loving what I do. After my break, I decided to take up travel nursing with the intention to travel the country and at least try to experience L&D in different places, hoping that that would rekindle my love for the specialty. But clearly God had other plans. My sister had my nephew whom I fell in love with instantly and I found out I was pregnant, so it only made sense to stay put at my local travel assignment.

Here’s the thing though friends, I get bored very easily. I have learned that about myself over the years. As much as I enjoy working in L&D, I also despise sitting with a labor patient all day long. I’d like to believe that it’s because I came from a very high volume unit where we were cranking out babies like nobody’s business, but I don’t know. I also think I had more opportunity at my home hospital to act and serve in different roles, whereas during my travel assignment I was very limited. I prefer a higher pace with a little bit more action to help me get through the day. There’s also the fact that my travel pay was cut for THIRD time. Although that was not the #1 factor in me choosing to leave, it made the decision a lot easier for me and allowed for me to get out of my contract a lot sooner without hassle.

I have about 10 more weeks until my little guy comes and I’ll be looking for work to do in the meantime. I’ve pretty much decided in my heart that my time in L&D has come to an end for much longer than the 13 week break that I took last year. I recently told a former coworker of mine that IF I decide to return to L&D it would only be to my OG hospital; I can’t really see myself doing it anywhere else. Depending on who you ask, that unit is pure chaos but it’s a chaos that I welcome on a daily. I’ve been on the hunt for other jobs. My intention is to stay within the OB world, but hopefully within a different capacity that doesn’t keep me at the bedside. Of course, my child will be the ultimate determining factor on what kind of job I accept.

I’m incredibly grateful to God that I have the opportunity to enjoy this time off even though I’m technically jobless right now. My last day in L&D was this past Thursday and I have been home everyday since – mostly because some time during my last week of work I contracted C-19. Go figure that after two years of working directly with patients who had it especially during its peak, I would contract it. It has been a rollercoaster weekend of emotions for me. As I stated earlier, part of the reason I left my job was because of the increase in fetal deaths. Not all of them were caused by the virus that we know of, but you can’t help but wonder. So, a lot of thoughts have gone through my head this past weekend. I’ve spent a lot of time doing kick counts and listening to my son’s heartbeat in the midst of feeling like absolute death. I had all the symptoms: fever, chills, muscle aches, headaches, loss of taste and smell, congestion, and a cough. It’s been quite the experience.

My quarantine is officially over and after taking the Paxlovid recommended by the doctors, I feel sooooooooooo much better. I was very hesitant to take that as well seeing as how there’s very little known about its affects on pregnant women, but I was down bad and it was not looking good. I can breathe out of my nose again and all of my other symptoms are essentially gone (except the cough). My kid is thriving and still just as active as ever, so I can’t help but be grateful. I’m going to continue to enjoy this workless week and hopefully I can get back to 100% by the weekend so I can start cleaning this house and officially preparing for baby boy’s arrival. Until next time peeps ✌🏽

Xoxo,

Ash, RN

Yesterday was my 30th birthday. Never in a million years did I think I would spend it the way I did. I had always wanted to go away for my 30th. I’ve never been on a plane and my last few attempts had been shut down by the C, so I was desperately looking forward to getting away this time around. Plus – it’s 30. That’s a pretty big deal. Needless to say, I spent my 30th birthday in MD surrounded by the people I love. We had a semi-surprise birthday party for one of my great-aunts this past Saturday and there was a decent amount of family that showed up, so even though that wasn’t for me it was nice to spend that time with everyone that was there. On my actual birthday I did my usual pedicure and nail appointment, spent some time with M, and then went to Muse Paintbar for Paint Your Pet night. I painted my dog you guys and it was beyond stressful 😂, but it’s cute.

Per usual whenever I turn a year older, I spend the first few days reflecting on the past and coming with a plan on how to approach the future. What things do I want to accomplish in my 30th year of life? Where do I want to go? What my biggest goal? What do I want to start this year? What would I like to finally end? The list goes on and on. This year is different though. I’m going to be a mom and that’s literally all I can think about. Everything else that I wanted to do/achieve/complete etc. has gone to the back burner in preparation for my little guy’s arrival. Plus this pregnancy alone has taught me that I can make all the plans I want, but ultimately God’s plan is the one that actually matters.

I’m 24 weeks today, meaning I have about 16 weeks left before I’m due and that is really not a lot of time. I’m officially in that stage of nesting and that is what consumes all of my time and energy at this point. It’s exciting and nerve wrecking at the same time, but I’m still enjoying it. I love the kicks and the hiccups and even the jabs to my bladder that sometimes make me feel like I’m gonna pee myself instantly. It’s the coolest thing. I had this idea of making this post about 30 things I’ve learned in the last 30 years but I think I’ll save that for a different day. I’m going to go enjoy my week off.

Xoxo,

Ash, RN