As Told By Ashley

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21

As of last week, I am officially halfway through my pregnancy. It’s been an interesting and comical journey so far. I think I make my mom and sister laugh on a daily basis between my questions and my experiences. Originally M and I decided that we would wait until our little one was here to find out the gender, but we both gave in. Turns out our little surprise is a BOY 💙. M really wanted a girl and based on the way I have been feeling throughout my pregnancy, I was convinced that he was going to get exactly what he wanted. However, it is a boy and I am beyond thrilled because that’s what I was not-so-secretly hoping for.

Pregnancy so far has been a huge learning curve for me. For as many patients as I’ve cared for in L&D, nothing would have or could have prepared me for this experience. It truly is one of the most individualized experiences ever. I’ve been feeling my little guy move for the past three weeks now which apparently is unusual for a first pregnancy. This little guy is super active though; nothing seems to slow him down. My check ups have all been good so far; he’s healthy and thriving. M finally was able to make it to one of my appointments so he got to see our son up close and personal. It was really funny. Apparently my child has inherited my lack of desire to be the center of attention and chooses each and every time to turn his back to us whenever we need to sono him. He was cooperative for his anatomy scan but it took a lot of coaxing (and belly jiggling) to get the little chunk to participate. All in all, he’s healthy and I could not be more grateful to God.

For someone like me who struggles deeply with anxiety that’s 100% rooted in a lack of control, I can honestly say that being pregnant has been one of the most anxiety provoking situations of my life. I love it; I think it’s amazing to learn each week what my body and baby are doing. But guys let me tell you that if God wanted to me in a situation where I had no choice but to trust in Him – pregnancy is it for me. I have learned in the past 21 weeks that there is literally nothing I can do. Not a moment goes by when I don’t worry about the health of my little guy or wonder if his heart is still beating. I’m so grateful though because it seems as though God always quiets my worries by allowing my little guy to move in a way that I know is him when my anxiety reaches its peak and I’m reassured that my prayers are still heard. Even now as I write this, he is moving all around (probably because we just had a bomb breakfast 😂).

With 19 weeks left to go, I feel like I’m officially in crunch time. I ordered my crib which is probably the biggest purchase I’ve made so far for baby. I buy clothes here and there, but everything else I was told not to buy. I have a really big extended family and we always show up for one another in situations like this and so now I guess it’s my turn. My baby shower date and venue are set; invitations will go out soon. My registry is almost complete. Time is just moving a little too fast. I’ll be sure to keep you guys updated.

Xoxo,

Ash, RN

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17

I’m a little late with this post, and it’ll be a short one. I’m 17 weeks today and my kiddo is thriving. I had an appointment recently and everything went well. One of the perks of being a L&D nurse is having access to a sonogram machine on a regular basis, so I also got to see my kiddo this past week. It’s amazing how much this little moves around there and I can’t feel a thing unless I’m really really still and even then, I hardly feel anything. I felt my first real movement one day last week and it was very exciting, but I haven’t felt anything since. Ultimately, I’m feeling super grateful to God that I’ve made it this far and I hope everything continues to go well. That’s all I have for now friends. Until next time…

Xoxo,

Ash, RN

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16

I haven’t written much of anything in 2022. I took some time off from writing because of how much my life has changed these last couple months. In December of last year, on my dad’s birthday to be exact, I found out that I’m pregnant. What a shock!!! These last two and a half months have been nothing short of shocking. I’ve learned so much in this very short time. I’m good when it comes to all things labor and delivery, but pregnancy itself is a completely different beast and I did not have the best first trimester. I was sick all day everyday and needing to use multiple medication combinations to get through daily life. It was not fun. As of today, I’m 16 weeks and I feel so much better.

I started feeling better about a week ago. I still have moments where I feel a little nauseous, but for the most part I’ve considered those foods or situations triggers for me and I avoid them. The only one I can’t really avoid is driving. Driving/riding long distances makes me extremely nauseous, so I just have to make sure I take my meds about 30 minutes beforehand and I’m usually good to go. I’ve had some typical food aversions and some weird ones. For a while the thought of a taco made me wanna vomit instantly, tuna sucks, and I can’t even crack an egg without wanting to vomit. My family thinks that’s hilarious, but I don’t. Saturday my sister, nephew, and I visited my parents and my mom cooked breakfast and I actually had to leave the room while my mom scrambled the eggs 😂. It was not fun. It seems like my kiddo has finally come around to the taste of sweets, but for a while anything sweet make me sick to my stomach and everything I ate needed to be salty and savory. Trying to figure this kid out has been an adventure to say the least.

Like I said, finding out I was pregnant was very much a shock. If I can be completely honest, I was not excited at all. For a while it seemed as though everyone around me was way more excited than I was. It has take me a while to come around to the reality of all that is happening right now. Thankfully, I’ve had the support of my parents, my sister and brother-in-law, and the rest of my family. They’ve been amazing. My child’s father, who will from here on out be referred to as M, has also been great. It was quite a surprise for him too, but he’s been nothing short of supportive from the beginning. He also was a lot more excited than I was which was surprising to say the least.

We haven’t really been shouting that we’re pregnant from the rooftops; we’ve essentially chosen to tell those who were closest to us. I’ve always been a relatively private person, and that didn’t change when I found out I was pregnant. If anything, I feel like my guard has gone up even more. The more people you tell, the more you open yourself up to peoples’ opinions and their unsolicited advice and I’m just not interested. I opted out of doing a gender reveal because I don’t really see the point; I have no desire to cut into a colored cake or be surprised with blues or pinks coming from somewhere. It’s cute for other people but it’s just not my style. I prefer to be a bit more low key. I’m not even sure I want to have a baby shower which is like taboo in my family.

I do want to get back into the habit of writing and my plan is to update you guys weekly. I also think it’d be nice to have something to look back on as I continue on this journey to motherhood. That sounds so cliche lol. So far baby is healthy and growing and has a nice strong heartbeat. All of his or her limbs are there and measuring normal sizes. He or she seems to have a nose like their father. They also seem a tad dramatic according to my most recent sonogram pictures. Originally I wanted to wait to find out if it’s a boy or girl until the day I deliver, but lately I’ve been getting the itch to know – mostly because I just want to buy things. One of my aunts has already started buying things for a little girl which is what I felt like I was having, but lately I’ve been thinking it’s a boy. My sister also thinks it’s a boy; my mom thinks it’s a girl and my dad wants it to be a boy. M and I are happy either way of course, but it will be very interesting to see who will be right in the end. Anxiously but patiently awaiting August for this little one’s arrival. Until next time friends…

Xoxo,

Ash, RN

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Happy new year!!!

I wish you all the absolute best 2022 has to offer. I hope that in this year you guys find the life, love, and happiness that you all desire.

God bless

Xoxo,

Ash, RN

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It’s official

I gave my notice at my OG hospital; I’m officially counting down the days until I’m no longer a staff nurse. I’m hopping on the travel nurse bandwagon, so I’m no longer able to keep up with the competencies and time requirements of my OG unit.

I’m excited, but I’m also really sad. Sending my letter of resignation was actually very difficult for me. I had told my manager when my last day would be, but it took me a couple days to send the actual letter. I was surprised by my own emotions honestly. I didn’t expect to feel sad, but that is truly what I felt.

I think my feelings toward leaving my job are mainly because of the people I’ll be leaving behind. I’ve met some great nurses, some great doctors, and some even greater patients. It’s a place filled with people and rules and protocols that I’ve grown accustomed to. I’m comfortable there, and leaving a place of comfort for the unknown is terrifying. When I first went to per diem status, it was with the mindset of having something to fall back on in case I didn’t like the job I was taking at the time and it’s a good thing I did. I ended up quitting that job after 2 weeks and my OG hospital welcomed me back with open arms and lots of laughs at my attempt to be free.

Making the decision to leave is a big jump for me. I’m a creature of habit. I like comfort and familiarity and knowing what I’m walking in to, even though the only thing I knew I was walking into at my OG hospital was pure craziness. I tell myself often that the job is the same, it’s just the location that is different. It helps that I’ve had a great experience with my first L&D assignment; they made the transition super easy. I’m not sure where my next stop will be on this travel journey, but I know I’ll be going out of state. I’ll most likely stay on the east coast for a while longer before I venture out to some of the other places I’d like to go, but who knows. I’m learning to embrace the idea of going wherever life takes me.

I will definitely keep you guys updated.

Xoxo,

Ash, RN

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Money, honey

In about six months, some weeks, and some days I will be the big 3-0. I’m actually pretty excited about it, but it took me a while to get to this place of excitement. I’m all about making goals and figuring out a way to achieve them and my biggest goal these days has been to get my money right. It’s part of the reason why I opted to do travel nursing.

One of my goals with this blog has been to keep you guys up to date on different things going on with my life – whether that’s in the area of love, education, nursing, or even finances. So today is all about the money honey. As always, I tend to share the things I need the most accountability with so sharing what I learn about money as I go along helps to keep me on the straight and narrow. I’ve read quite a few books on money, affiliate marketing, investing, and so on. None of it stuck apparently because I still struggle. Anyone who knows me knows that I’m a big Dave Ramsey fan. I love his zero dollar budget and his debt snowball method. So, I guess that’s where I’ll start.

Over the course of this year I’ve made some big financial moves and commitments like purchasing my first home. I also took some big financial risks like quitting my full time job at the drop of a dime with no back up. I’ve been without insurance briefly at some point this year. I went from almost hitting the six-figure mark last year in my staff nurse position to barely making anything with my first agency nurse position. Do I regret leaving my job and taking a serious pay cut? Physically, mentally, and emotionally – no, but financially – heck yes.

I dug myself into a pretty deep financial hole in the first half of 2021 and now I’m taking this last quarter of the year to potentially dig myself out. Where am I choosing to start??? Good ole Dave Ramsey and his Total Money Makeover. So I’m in the process of completely Step One: the $1000 emergency fund, and Step Two: the debt snowball simultaneously. Do I follow Mr. Ramsey to the letter – no, but I do find some his suggestions and lessons incredibly helpful. Eventually I’ll get to the point where I’ll start to list and share the resources I use to help. One of my biggest and best resources right now happens to be my cousin Michaela. She’s going to help me figure out this whole budgeting thing. I know I cannot be the only person out there who truly sucks at budgeting or who gets lost looking at their budget because it says they have all this money left over but your bank account screams a completely different story. I have every intention on sharing with you guys what works for me and what doesn’t. Wish me luck 🤞🏽

Xoxo,

Ash, RN

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The Nurses’ Station 9/28

Hey guys!!

It’s been a while since the last time I came to the nurses’ station, but that’s because so much has happened these last few weeks. I’ve officially entered the world of travel nursing and it has been a crazy journey so far. Technically I’ve been traveling since June, but my first assignment was completely different than my actual specialty. I have my reasons for why I chose that job in particular, and I think it was a good fit honestly. However, I’m back in labor and delivery and I must say it feels good to be back. I still pick up hours at my OG unit and I have definitely learned to appreciate them for the things they taught me, but it feels good to see how other people practice. I don’t like to put my people out there, so I won’t say which hospital I’m working at but it has been nothing short of an amazing experience so far. The nurses I’ve met are amazing. The doctors have been super polite so far which we all know is nothing short of a miracle. I look forward to see how the rest of my contract goes and I’ll try my hardest to keep you guys updated here at the nurses’ station. 😊

So tell me, are you a travel nurse? What made you decide to start traveling? What tips and tricks do you have for someone like me who is just starting out? Let’s talk about it.

Xoxo,

Ash, RN

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Life Update

I haven’t made a post in a while. Life has been a little crazy. I started a new job and it’s been a huge adjustment. I recently reconnected with an old friend and that has me a little out of sorts in a good way (definitely will keep you guys updated on that 😉), and unexpected house repairs have a hold on me right now as well. Needless to say, I’ve been very busy in good and bad ways. Soooooo…here it is:

HOME. For those of you who don’t know, I bought a house earlier this year. I had a solid three weeks in my house before everything started going downhill. I had some unexpected plumbing issues that are still unfixed and a huge source of stress in my life right now to be completely honest. The problem is halfway fixed, but in attempting to fix that we discovered an even bigger problem that will need to be addressed sooner rather than later. But you know what guys – plumbing is expensive!!! Other than that, the house is good. I go back and forth with wanting to sell it or wanting to rent it out and I’m pretty sure that stems from the stress I feel over this plumbing situation, but nevertheless I will figure it out. I always do.

WORK. I recently entered the world of travel nursing. Back in June I took a local travel contract at an ASC after deciding that I wanted to try something different from labor and delivery. It was by far the best 13 weeks of my career so far. It was completely unrelated to anything I have done in nursing so far. I started out as a psych nurse then switched to labor and delivery and the ASC was with a urology office. Yep, you read that right – I essentially went from vaginas and babies to penises and kidney stones for 13 weeks and it was great. I met some of the most friendly nurses ever and I will forever be grateful to them for taking me in and teaching me all that I needed to know to get through those 13 weeks. My current assignment is another local travel position back in L&D at a hospital near my house because…

I’m going to be an aunt…like any day now.

FAMILY. That’s right friends – my little sister is having a baby and I am beyond excited. It’s a boy and he is the first grandchild so there is already so much love, joy, and expectation surrounding his arrival. She also got married, so I officially have the dopest brother-in-law in the world and a new dog niece and nephew. My long-haired pitty Storm is a seven month old ball of energy who will definitely keep you laughing. She’s brought so much joy to my house in the midst of my plumbing disaster. At this very moment she’s tearing up a puppy pad in my office – probably because I’m doing this instead of playing with her 🤦🏽‍♀️. Learning to train her and watching her grow is pretty fun though. My parents are doing well. We’re all just waiting semi-patiently on Baby AJ.

There’s so much more to share, but if I did that here this post would go on forever. You’ll just have to subscribe to keep up. 😊😊😊

Xoxo,

Ash, RN

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Halfway there

Today is the first day of the last 6 months of 2021. What are your plans? What are your goals? What did you say you were going to do at the start of 2021 that you were not able to do?? Now is the time to sharpen your focus and make a plan as to how you are going to accomplish those goals.

Don’t let these last six months be like the first six months, even if your first six months were great. There’s still more to be done, more to be learned, and more to give back for the rest of the year.

Love you guys

Xoxo,

Ash, RN

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Sink or swim

“Throw her in the pool”

This is what was said to me by a charge nurse when I offered to stay and help a newer nurse do something she had never done before by herself. The poor girl was freaking out and it was assumed that if she were just thrown into the task, she would either sink or swim.

Why is this the mentality experienced nurses use to justify the unfair treatment of newer, less experienced nurses?

I don’t understand. Heaven forbid the nurse sinks, and then she’s at the mercy of the physician (who never makes mistakes *insert intense eye roll*), under scrutiny by the manager, and the topic of nasty gossip between coworkers. Nurses are cruel.

My biggest issue with this mentality is that not everybody learns this way. There are some people who thrive in situations like this. You give them a problem or put them in the middle of a situation and they will figure it out. There are three responses to a threat/situation – fight, flight, or freeze.

I am the type of person who tends to freeze. So if it were me thrown into a situation like this I would freak the f**k out! After a minute (or five) of freaking out I would snap out of it and do my job. Then afterwards I would beat myself up over all the things I did wrong. And the sad thing is – I have been thrown into situations like this multiple times and it’s really not a good look. It really makes you second guess your skill and ability as a nurse – at least that’s what it did to me.

I honestly didn’t write this post to come up with a answer for the problem; I really just wanted to bring awareness to the situation. Just to give some background into how much this situation bothered me – I started writing this post the night the incident happened TWO WEEKS AGO!!! But I’m just now finishing it and posting it because I was so upset that I had to step away and really gather my thoughts.

I agree that at some point as a new nurse you have to learn to do things on your own, but I don’t agree with setting someone up for failure especially when they’ve expressed their discomfort with a task. I know in this particular situation it wasn’t done out of spite, but I also know that that is not the case for everyone. Some people really do it to be mean as if watching someone fail proves a point. On this day at my job it could been addressed at the start of the shift and it wasn’t even after multiple experienced nurses expressed concern, and that’s what got under my skin.

For any new nurse who is reading this, these are the things I want you to take away from this post:

  • Speak up for yourself. If you’re given an assignment that you truly believe is beyond your capability, say something!! If you’re uncomfortable with an assignment or task, say something. Who cares if the charge nurse or your coworkers don’t like it, they’re not the ones who matter – the patient does.
  • Ask for help. Don’t be afraid to ask a more experienced nurse for help. Ideally you should still have access to your preceptor to ask questions and/or for added support.
  • Try, try, and try again. Like I said before, eventually you will have to do it – whatever it is. So don’t be afraid to try. You’ll never learn if you don’t at least attempt. But here’s the thing – get someone to be there with you the first time you attempt. There’s no shame in that. There’s a lot of things you won’t get the opportunity to experience on orientation, and when that happens it’s okay to call on someone more experienced for guidance.
  • Be honest. This goes along with speaking up. Be honest to your coworkers and be honest with yourself about your skill level. If you don’t know, you don’t know. Nursing is honestly not the career where you wanna “fake it til you make it”.
  • Debrief. I think we as nurses have fallen out of the habit of debriefing. It’s overlooked way more than it should be and only seems to be a thing when something goes wrong. But maybe – and this is just me sharing my slightly professional opinion – if we debriefed the good outcomes/incidents more often we might not have as many bad outcomes. People underestimate the power of a simple “good job doing…” and how it can spark conversations between staff about how it was done, the thought process behind it, where it was learned, and if it could be applied to more than one patient situation. Debriefing is especially important for newer nurses because it gives them the opportunity to learn what they did right, what they did wrong, and how they can improve. It’s supposed to be a safe and objective conversation.
  • Make sure you have a mentor. I cannot stress this enough for new nurses. It’s something that we’ve recently implemented on our unit and while I think it’s a good idea, I think it’s best done with nurses outside of your home unit. Preceptors are there to teach you the ins and outs of nursing on your unit. Mentors are there to help you develop the ins and outs of you as a nurse. One develops skill and the other develops character. Both are essential.

I hope this helps someone. I’m sorry if you’ve ever been thrown in and expected to sink or swim. My prayer is that you stick with it regardless of the outcome. See it through. Celebrate your wins and learn from your losses. Love you guys.

Xoxo,

Ash, RN