As Told By Ashley

A look at my life

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Money, honey

In about six months, some weeks, and some days I will be the big 3-0. I’m actually pretty excited about it, but it took me a while to get to this place of excitement. I’m all about making goals and figuring out a way to achieve them and my biggest goal these days has been to get my money right. It’s part of the reason why I opted to do travel nursing.

One of my goals with this blog has been to keep you guys up to date on different things going on with my life – whether that’s in the area of love, education, nursing, or even finances. So today is all about the money honey. As always, I tend to share the things I need the most accountability with so sharing what I learn about money as I go along helps to keep me on the straight and narrow. I’ve read quite a few books on money, affiliate marketing, investing, and so on. None of it stuck apparently because I still struggle. Anyone who knows me knows that I’m a big Dave Ramsey fan. I love his zero dollar budget and his debt snowball method. So, I guess that’s where I’ll start.

Over the course of this year I’ve made some big financial moves and commitments like purchasing my first home. I also took some big financial risks like quitting my full time job at the drop of a dime with no back up. I’ve been without insurance briefly at some point this year. I went from almost hitting the six-figure mark last year in my staff nurse position to barely making anything with my first agency nurse position. Do I regret leaving my job and taking a serious pay cut? Physically, mentally, and emotionally – no, but financially – heck yes.

I dug myself into a pretty deep financial hole in the first half of 2021 and now I’m taking this last quarter of the year to potentially dig myself out. Where am I choosing to start??? Good ole Dave Ramsey and his Total Money Makeover. So I’m in the process of completely Step One: the $1000 emergency fund, and Step Two: the debt snowball simultaneously. Do I follow Mr. Ramsey to the letter – no, but I do find some his suggestions and lessons incredibly helpful. Eventually I’ll get to the point where I’ll start to list and share the resources I use to help. One of my biggest and best resources right now happens to be my cousin Michaela. She’s going to help me figure out this whole budgeting thing. I know I cannot be the only person out there who truly sucks at budgeting or who gets lost looking at their budget because it says they have all this money left over but your bank account screams a completely different story. I have every intention on sharing with you guys what works for me and what doesn’t. Wish me luck 🤞🏽

Xoxo,

Ash, RN

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The Nurses’ Station 9/28

Hey guys!!

It’s been a while since the last time I came to the nurses’ station, but that’s because so much has happened these last few weeks. I’ve officially entered the world of travel nursing and it has been a crazy journey so far. Technically I’ve been traveling since June, but my first assignment was completely different than my actual specialty. I have my reasons for why I chose that job in particular, and I think it was a good fit honestly. However, I’m back in labor and delivery and I must say it feels good to be back. I still pick up hours at my OG unit and I have definitely learned to appreciate them for the things they taught me, but it feels good to see how other people practice. I don’t like to put my people out there, so I won’t say which hospital I’m working at but it has been nothing short of an amazing experience so far. The nurses I’ve met are amazing. The doctors have been super polite so far which we all know is nothing short of a miracle. I look forward to see how the rest of my contract goes and I’ll try my hardest to keep you guys updated here at the nurses’ station. 😊

So tell me, are you a travel nurse? What made you decide to start traveling? What tips and tricks do you have for someone like me who is just starting out? Let’s talk about it.

Xoxo,

Ash, RN

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Life Update

I haven’t made a post in a while. Life has been a little crazy. I started a new job and it’s been a huge adjustment. I recently reconnected with an old friend and that has me a little out of sorts in a good way (definitely will keep you guys updated on that 😉), and unexpected house repairs have a hold on me right now as well. Needless to say, I’ve been very busy in good and bad ways. Soooooo…here it is:

HOME. For those of you who don’t know, I bought a house earlier this year. I had a solid three weeks in my house before everything started going downhill. I had some unexpected plumbing issues that are still unfixed and a huge source of stress in my life right now to be completely honest. The problem is halfway fixed, but in attempting to fix that we discovered an even bigger problem that will need to be addressed sooner rather than later. But you know what guys – plumbing is expensive!!! Other than that, the house is good. I go back and forth with wanting to sell it or wanting to rent it out and I’m pretty sure that stems from the stress I feel over this plumbing situation, but nevertheless I will figure it out. I always do.

WORK. I recently entered the world of travel nursing. Back in June I took a local travel contract at an ASC after deciding that I wanted to try something different from labor and delivery. It was by far the best 13 weeks of my career so far. It was completely unrelated to anything I have done in nursing so far. I started out as a psych nurse then switched to labor and delivery and the ASC was with a urology office. Yep, you read that right – I essentially went from vaginas and babies to penises and kidney stones for 13 weeks and it was great. I met some of the most friendly nurses ever and I will forever be grateful to them for taking me in and teaching me all that I needed to know to get through those 13 weeks. My current assignment is another local travel position back in L&D at a hospital near my house because…

I’m going to be an aunt…like any day now.

FAMILY. That’s right friends – my little sister is having a baby and I am beyond excited. It’s a boy and he is the first grandchild so there is already so much love, joy, and expectation surrounding his arrival. She also got married, so I officially have the dopest brother-in-law in the world and a new dog niece and nephew. My long-haired pitty Storm is a seven month old ball of energy who will definitely keep you laughing. She’s brought so much joy to my house in the midst of my plumbing disaster. At this very moment she’s tearing up a puppy pad in my office – probably because I’m doing this instead of playing with her 🤦🏽‍♀️. Learning to train her and watching her grow is pretty fun though. My parents are doing well. We’re all just waiting semi-patiently on Baby AJ.

There’s so much more to share, but if I did that here this post would go on forever. You’ll just have to subscribe to keep up. 😊😊😊

Xoxo,

Ash, RN

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Halfway there

Today is the first day of the last 6 months of 2021. What are your plans? What are your goals? What did you say you were going to do at the start of 2021 that you were not able to do?? Now is the time to sharpen your focus and make a plan as to how you are going to accomplish those goals.

Don’t let these last six months be like the first six months, even if your first six months were great. There’s still more to be done, more to be learned, and more to give back for the rest of the year.

Love you guys

Xoxo,

Ash, RN

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Sink or swim

“Throw her in the pool”

This is what was said to me by a charge nurse when I offered to stay and help a newer nurse do something she had never done before by herself. The poor girl was freaking out and it was assumed that if she were just thrown into the task, she would either sink or swim.

Why is this the mentality experienced nurses use to justify the unfair treatment of newer, less experienced nurses?

I don’t understand. Heaven forbid the nurse sinks, and then she’s at the mercy of the physician (who never makes mistakes *insert intense eye roll*), under scrutiny by the manager, and the topic of nasty gossip between coworkers. Nurses are cruel.

My biggest issue with this mentality is that not everybody learns this way. There are some people who thrive in situations like this. You give them a problem or put them in the middle of a situation and they will figure it out. There are three responses to a threat/situation – fight, flight, or freeze.

I am the type of person who tends to freeze. So if it were me thrown into a situation like this I would freak the f**k out! After a minute (or five) of freaking out I would snap out of it and do my job. Then afterwards I would beat myself up over all the things I did wrong. And the sad thing is – I have been thrown into situations like this multiple times and it’s really not a good look. It really makes you second guess your skill and ability as a nurse – at least that’s what it did to me.

I honestly didn’t write this post to come up with a answer for the problem; I really just wanted to bring awareness to the situation. Just to give some background into how much this situation bothered me – I started writing this post the night the incident happened TWO WEEKS AGO!!! But I’m just now finishing it and posting it because I was so upset that I had to step away and really gather my thoughts.

I agree that at some point as a new nurse you have to learn to do things on your own, but I don’t agree with setting someone up for failure especially when they’ve expressed their discomfort with a task. I know in this particular situation it wasn’t done out of spite, but I also know that that is not the case for everyone. Some people really do it to be mean as if watching someone fail proves a point. On this day at my job it could been addressed at the start of the shift and it wasn’t even after multiple experienced nurses expressed concern, and that’s what got under my skin.

For any new nurse who is reading this, these are the things I want you to take away from this post:

  • Speak up for yourself. If you’re given an assignment that you truly believe is beyond your capability, say something!! If you’re uncomfortable with an assignment or task, say something. Who cares if the charge nurse or your coworkers don’t like it, they’re not the ones who matter – the patient does.
  • Ask for help. Don’t be afraid to ask a more experienced nurse for help. Ideally you should still have access to your preceptor to ask questions and/or for added support.
  • Try, try, and try again. Like I said before, eventually you will have to do it – whatever it is. So don’t be afraid to try. You’ll never learn if you don’t at least attempt. But here’s the thing – get someone to be there with you the first time you attempt. There’s no shame in that. There’s a lot of things you won’t get the opportunity to experience on orientation, and when that happens it’s okay to call on someone more experienced for guidance.
  • Be honest. This goes along with speaking up. Be honest to your coworkers and be honest with yourself about your skill level. If you don’t know, you don’t know. Nursing is honestly not the career where you wanna “fake it til you make it”.
  • Debrief. I think we as nurses have fallen out of the habit of debriefing. It’s overlooked way more than it should be and only seems to be a thing when something goes wrong. But maybe – and this is just me sharing my slightly professional opinion – if we debriefed the good outcomes/incidents more often we might not have as many bad outcomes. People underestimate the power of a simple “good job doing…” and how it can spark conversations between staff about how it was done, the thought process behind it, where it was learned, and if it could be applied to more than one patient situation. Debriefing is especially important for newer nurses because it gives them the opportunity to learn what they did right, what they did wrong, and how they can improve. It’s supposed to be a safe and objective conversation.
  • Make sure you have a mentor. I cannot stress this enough for new nurses. It’s something that we’ve recently implemented on our unit and while I think it’s a good idea, I think it’s best done with nurses outside of your home unit. Preceptors are there to teach you the ins and outs of nursing on your unit. Mentors are there to help you develop the ins and outs of you as a nurse. One develops skill and the other develops character. Both are essential.

I hope this helps someone. I’m sorry if you’ve ever been thrown in and expected to sink or swim. My prayer is that you stick with it regardless of the outcome. See it through. Celebrate your wins and learn from your losses. Love you guys.

Xoxo,

Ash, RN

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Be still

A while ago I shared with you guys about my little crisis of faith I’ve been having lately. I was talking with my sister about one of my therapy sessions in which my therapist implied that I’m angry with God. That’s probably the most accurate statement someone could use to describe how I feel. Usually when one admits ill-feelings towards God, it’s met with push back in the form of statements like “what could you possibly have to be angry about” or “you can’t be mad at God for decisions you made”. Statements like these run through my head constantly. I remember telling my sister that it’s more frustration than true anger. Frustration at the fact that my life did not turn out anything near what I thought it would. I thought I did everything right. I got good grades, I didn’t sleep around, and I worked really hard. So imagine what it’s like to wake up 10 years later and feel as though you have nothing to show for all of that hard work. Of course I’m angry. There’s so many things I would have done differently.

Now here I am in one of the most confusing times of my life. I’m at a point where everything I thought I knew and wanted to be is no longer right. I no longer know if I want to spend the rest of my life as a nurse. I remember when I wanted to open my own midwifery clinic servicing the women in the black community and now I just don’t know. I remember when I used to be so sure of my faith and belief – and now I just don’t know. Not because I’m “angry”, but because it’s hard to continue to have faith in something after so much disappointment. And please don’t point me to Job saints, I know the story. But I also know that I’m not the only one who has these thoughts and feelings. I’m just the only one wiling to admit them out loud right now.

Since I quit my job, I’ve had crazy amounts of time off. I’ve never had this much time off in my life. I don’t even know what to do with all of this time off. I’m usually hone most days because I know where nothing is in my new city or I’m visiting my sister and parents in the safety and comfort of the places I’ve always known. If it’s one thing this time off has shown me is that I have no idea how to just be still. I’ve been on the go since I started working at 14 and this is the first time since then that I haven’t had two things occupying my time at once. It’s a time I’m learning to be grateful for. It’s a time I’m constantly learning how to navigate every single day when I wake up in the morning. For the first time in my life, I get to wake up and decide what I want my day to look like and that’s actually something I prayed to God that I would be able to do (*definitely did not remember that prayer until I typed that sentence*). For now, I’ll just keep doing what I’m doing until I come up with my own routine.

Xoxo,

Ash, RN

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The Nurses’ Station 2/18

Well, it’s been a little over two months since I checked in from the nurses’ station and things are definitely different for this RN.

Good news: I started a new job on a different labor and delivery unit at a completely different hospital.

Bad news: I quit 😳

I had only been there for 2.5 weeks. It wasn’t a bad job; it was actually very nice. The nurses were great. It’s way slower than my original L&D unit. It seemed as though it was going to be a lot less stressful.

So why did I leave?

Because you know, I’m just not interested anymore. The whole point of me switching jobs was to see if I didn’t like labor at all or if I just didn’t enjoy it at my original hospital. The truth is – it’s neither of those reasons. The work is still the same. Labor will always be labor. The doctors are different and the policies are different, but the core of patient care in L&D will never change.

After almost 2.5 years as a labor nurse, I’ve learned some things about myself and nursing in general:

  • I don’t always want to have the same patient all day long and labor can be a looonnngggggg process (this was also an issue I had as a psych nurse)
  • I like to talk to my patients, educate them, and send them on their way
  • Bedside nursing isn’t for everyone and that’s okay, but bedside nursing doesn’t look the same in every specialty
  • Better to have a nurse who loves their job but isn’t as good at it than to have a nurse who’s good at it but doesn’t love it. One will work their ass off to become better and the other will end up sacrificing adequate patient care for the sake of getting the job done faster. (Guilty of both honestly 🤦🏽‍♀️)
  • I am not a night shift person anymore. I used to be able to work it all, but now I’m more convinced than ever that I need to be awake when the rest of the world is awake and sleeping when everyone else is sleeping

So, what now?

Honestly guys, I don’t even know. Luckily I’m still employed PRN at my OG L&D unit and even though it is the craziest place ever, I still enjoy it most times. So I think I will ride that out until I find something a little bit more to my liking. There’s also the possibility and likelihood of going back to school to get my next degree. I’m just unsure right now. It’s scary really – to go from having everything planned out to wondering what next week is going to look like. I’ll have to keep you guys posted.

Xoxo,

Ash, RN

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Eight

On January 15th of this year I became a homeowner. That may not seem like a big deal to some people, but it was a very big deal to me. If you’ve read my previous post you know how my first trial at purchasing a home went…not so good. This time the process was so smooth, it was just too good to be true.

Over the past month I’ve been thinking about all that it took to get to the signing table. It was the most stressful thing I’ve ever experienced. For someone like me who has anxiety that is damn near crippling at times, signing those papers was the best and worst moment of my life.

It dawned on me in the midst of all my thoughts that it took me eight months from my original settlement date for the townhouse to my actually settlement date with the house. For those of you who are super spiritual like my mama, eight is the number of new beginnings. How cool is that? To go from a moment where I felt like a complete failure to eight months later achieving one of the biggest personal goals I’ve ever set for myself. It’s a nice feeling.

It hasn’t come without challenges though. Since being in the house I’ve had some pretty annoying things happen that at times make me feel like I made the wrong decision, but I’m so grateful for my family who keeps me grounded in the reality that shit happens (pardon me saints ). I’m sure this won’t be the end of annoying things that happen in my house, and I look forward to sharing each and every one with you guys.

Stay tuned as I attempt to decorate this place. Lord knows I was not given the gift of interior decorating.

Xoxo,

Ash, RN

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Day one

2020 was nowhere near what we all thought it would be, and that’s okay. It’s day one of a brand new year. I hope you all decide to make the best of it.

Happy New Year everyone!!

Xoxo,

Ash, RN